My Car

My parents are the best, when my car stopped running, they helped me to buy a used car.  I don’t know what I would have done without them.  But my parents aren’t what this story is about, this time, it is about my car.

This was the first semi-new car that I ever owned, so, I was very happy and I drove that car proudly.  I guess the key word would be proudly, I looked at people driving crummy cars, like I used to have to drive, and I felt good about myself.  I can tell you now that I was having some really wrong thinking.

Being proud about driving a nice car wasn’t the only problem I was having with my Christian walk, I was also complaining, a lot.  I was complaining about everything and the more I complained, the worse I felt, physically and mentally.  So, here I am, going along thinking that I was doing fine but all the while I was a sickly, proud, woman.  God opened my eyes to this in a few ways, one of which was with that car that I was so happy to have.

Now, there is a song that I really like, and listen to a lot.  This song talks about knowing real wealth through being poor and knowing joy through hard times.  This song talks about losing everything, but gaining Jesus and how that is such a good thing.  God also used this song to talk to my soul.  

Well, I had just taken my son Elijah to school on a Thursday, we were on our way home when I slammed right into the back of the van in front of me.  I don’t know what happened, I think I got too close and then when I put on the break, it made a grinding sound so I quickly took my foot off the break and then I got confused and I hit the gas instead of the break and plowed right into the back of a woman driving a huge van.  I jumped out of the car to make sure she was okay and to say sorry, because I knew it was all my fault.  We exchanged information and I went home, shakey, sad and very depressed; I felt like giving up.  When I got home, I slid into bed, and cried.  I didn’t want to get up and the thought of driving again made me sick to my stomach, but I had to.  My husband Mark, was at dialysis, and he needed a ride home.  I couldn’t just leave him there.  

I picked Mark up, and in the next few days, I learned an important lesson.  

The front end of my car was smashed in, it looked really bad.  Surprisingly, the damages were all cosmetic.  I’ve been driving my car since the accident and it has been running fine.  

What the Lord has impressed upon me since my accident is this:
To realize that God is in complete control.  

My car, still drivable, may not look as good as it once did. But, what is more important, a good looking car, or a car that runs?  My answer; a car that runs.  

What does all of this mean when it comes to me?  It means that I have been so worried about my outside self, that I was neglecting my inside.  I needed to change my attitude. 

I thought that what others saw on the outside was the most important thing, in my car and in myself, but now I know the car doesn’t have to be beautiful to get me to my mom’s house, or to take Mark to dialysis.  And as for the complaining, I’m dealing with it on a day by day basis.  I’ve been working hard on the inside, (my soul and my spirit), and not making my focus cosmetic.

My goal is to have the thoughts, and the ways of God. I’m finding that the ways of God are so different than the ways of man.  The world is consumed with appearances. What is seen on the outside is all important, while God is concerned with our inner man, our spirit/soul.  Being a Christian sometimes means re-learning things so that we fit in when we are in God’s presence.  

In Isaiah 55:8, the Lord says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways.” 

That doesn’t mean that His ways will never be our ways, it just means that I have to stop, and put my focus on the spiritual world.  Instead of trying to find joy and riches in the carnal side of life, I need to cultivate happiness, and a wealth that can’t be destroyed. This eternal satisfaction can only be found at the right hand of God.