A's and B's

When I became a Christian, at the age of 30, I thought that I should immediately be flawless, It didn’t take long to see that I wasn’t.  So when I would have what some people call; bad luck, right away I would think that God was mad at me and I was getting what I deserved.  I even got to the point where I felt that bumping my head, burning dinner, or getting a flat tire was punishment for not being able to do everything that I felt I should be doing as a Christian.
     
I can clearly remember praying,  “God,                                                                                                                                                                                   why can’t I do this Christian stuff?”  I wanted to be perfect, NOW!  I  struggled with these feelings until God used my nine year old daughter, Elizabeth, to help me through this.
     
I was having another one of those days where everything was going wrong.  Because of this, I was angry with myself for not being good enough.  I felt I must have brought all the bad things on myself.  This thought had been going through my mind all day.  What a shock I got when later that night , on her way to bed, Elizabeth tripped and fell, and what she said to me were the exact words I had used in a prayer to God that morning.  Liz said, “Why is everything going wrong?  Why am I always getting hurt?”  She went on to say, “I must be a bad girl and deserve to be hurt.”  

All my thoughts about me being bad went out of my head and all I could think of was comforting and encouraging her, “No, you’re not a bad girl.  You need to be more careful and watch what you are doing.  You also need to get some sleep, it’s late and you are tired.”  I could see that she wasn’t convinced, she was still feeling frustrated.  Liz said, “Mom, I just can not do anything right.”  She added, “I’m just stupid.”  I knew that wasn’t true, but I didn’t know how to convince her of that.  Then something that had happened in her class at school, came to mind.  
     
Elizabeth had been having some trouble learning her times tables.  But she practiced hard, and soon after, her teacher said that she was getting A’s and B’s on all her papers.  I reminded her of what her teacher had said, and added, “If you were stupid you wouldn’t be getting such good grades now.”  I told her that when things are new to us, they may seem hard.  We might make a lot of mistakes, but if we practice and don’t give up we will get our A’s and B’s.
     
At that moment, it was like a light bulb went on in my head.  I could tell that God was using Liz to talk to me.  He was answering my questions , comforting and encouraging me, as He was giving me the answers to comfort and encourage my daughter.  God really does speak to us in many different ways.  That night I learned not to be hard on myself, perfection comes through Jesus.  I also learned that it takes time, practice and percervence with God’s help to do something new, well.  And that does include living a Christian life.