Things are hard for everyone, these days. I know, I’ve seen it on the news. Poverty, earthquakes, hurricanes, wow. When I look at all of that I think, “I’m so lucky.” But what I’m really thinking is, “Why are things so bad for me?”
This all started on a Friday, my son, Elijah was really sick, fever, cough, sore throat, the works, and my son Michael was just getting over a cold. I go to an ATM to pull some money off my card and it doesn’t work, I try many more times but no deal. I get in the car and go to the grocery store, to use the ATM, before I go in, I pray, thank God, it worked and I get my money. But on the way home, my engine light comes on.
Saturday morning, I get the rest of the money that I needed from the ATM at the grocery store, great, but Saturday night we all feel sick, Elijah’s got a cold, Michael is just getting over a cold, my husband Mark just wasn’t feeling well and my fibromylgia was acting up.
Early Sunday morning about 3:00 am, I wake up, Mark is awake and feeling very sick. I’m in pain and Elijah is coughing. Mark’s blood pressure is 212 over 109, that’s very high! He asks for a bucket and he starts throwing up, then he throws up again, and again, and again. I fell to my knees, crying, I feel like I’m in the storm, everything is going wrong! I pray, “Jesus, help us! ”I turned off the TV. I sat by Mark, who is still holding the bucket in one hand and his bottle of Nitro pills in the other hand. I keep praying, I feel peace come over me. I put my hand on Mark and I continue, Now Mark starts praying, and he lifts his hands. Peace comes over our apartment, I feel it, It’s quiet, no more coughing. Mark takes his blood pressure again, it’s 150 over 90, much better, I thank God. I feel like things are going to be okay, we go back to sleep.
Monday morning I wake up in great pain, my head is pounding, my hands hurt. Michael and I go to get the car fixed, I have to, Mark has dialysis tomorrow. We had to go to a place we haven’t been to before because it a holiday and the place we usually go to is closed. The man talks me into much more than I counted on, but I feel like at least it will be done, but now we are $200.00 short in our rent. I get home and go straight to bed.
Tuesday morning, we are all feeling somewhat better. I get in the car with Mark, heading to dialysis and the engine light comes on, and the air conditioner isn’t working, I start crying. This feels like a huge wind storm, but what comes to mind is, “Consider it pure joy.” When I get home from taking Mark to dialysis, I look the scripture up in my Bible, I find, James 1:6, “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” That is what we have been going through, a huge storm, blown and tossed about.
I have been working on a story about palm trees. When the palms have dry weather, they stretch out their roots to find water, which is a good thing because when a down fall comes, those palms who’s roots are deeply grounded, will stand. Bend but not break, lean but not fall. I wanted to believe I was that palm, but am I? Well I’m still here! I may be going through a storm, but I do have roots that are grounded in the word of God. I may bend but I will not fall, I will not break.
James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Yes, pure joy is what I’m going to have today, Tuesday.