A's and B's

     When I became a Christian at the age of 30, I thought that I should immediately be flawless, it didn't take long to see that I wasn't.  So when I would have what some people call; bad luck, right away, I would imagine that God was mad at me, and I thought I was getting what I deserved.  I even got to the point where I felt that bumping my head, burning dinner, or getting a flat tire, was punishment for not being able to do everything that I should be doing as a Christian.
     I remember praying,  "God, why can't I do this Christian stuff."  I wanted to be perfect, NOW!  I struggled with these feelings until God used my nine year old daughter, Elizabeth, to help me through this.
     I was having another one of those days where everything was going wrong. Because of this, I was angry with myself for not being good enough.  I felt that I must have brought all the bad things on myself.  This thought had been going through my mind all day.  What a shock I got when later that night, on her way to bed, my daughter Elizabeth tripped and fell.  And what she said to me, were the exact words I had used in a prayer to God that morning.  Liz said, "Why is everything going wrong?  Why am I always getting hurt?"  She went on to say, "I must be a bad girl, I must deserve to get hurt."  All the thoughts about me being bad went out of my head and all I could think of was comforting her.  I said, "No Liz, you're not a bad girl.  You just need to be more careful and watch what you are doing.  It's also late and you need to get some sleep."  I could see that she wasn't convinced, she was still feeling frustrated.  Liz said, "Mom, I just can not do anything right."  She added, "I am stupid!"  I knew that wasn't true, but I wasn't sure how to convince her of that.  Then something that happened in her class at school came to mind.
     Elizabeth had been having trouble learning her times tables.  But she practiced, hard, and soon after, her teacher said that she was getting A's and B's on all of her papers.  I reminded her of what her teacher had said, and I added, "If you were stupid you wouldn't be getting such good grades, now."  I told her that when things are new to us, they may seem hard.  But if we practice and don't give up, we will get our A's and B's. 
     At that moment it was like a light bulb, turning on in my head.  I could tell that God was using Liz, to talk to me.  The Holy Spirit was answering my questions, comforting and encouraging me, as He was giving me the answeres to comfort and encourage my daughter.  God does speak to us in many different ways.  That night I learned not to be so hard on myself, perfection comes through Jesus.  I also learned that it takes time, practice and perserverence, with Gods help to do something new and do it well.  And that does include living a Christian life.