The Bus Ride Home

     I was five years old.  I had been in kindergarten for all of about two weeks.  The whole idea of me having to be with so many kids every day just made me really physically ill.  You see, I suffer from depression and anxiety, that started before kindergarten because I can remember the feeling of terror that I had very well that day.
     Like I said, I had been in school for a few weeks , and I was just getting used to the process; take the bus to school, graham crackers and milk, lay down for a nap, play a bit, then go home on the bus.
     That day was different though, things felt off, I didn't know why, but they did.  As I sat with all the other kids on the bus ride home, I counted stops until we got to number five, my stop.  I looked out the window, it didn't look right , but, i saw my Dads blue bug.  I started toward the front of the bus along with two other girls, I walked toward my dad's car.  Almost there when I realize, that's NOT MY DAD!  I ran back to the bus and back to my seat in the back of the bus.
     A flash of heat rose from the pit of my belly and across my face.  I wanted to cry, but I bit my lip.  The bus started: stop six, stop seven, and stop eight, that was it, all the kids were off the bus, now.  It was only me and the bus driver.  Now I really wanted to cry and when the bus driver said, "You missed your stop," I burst into tears.
     I was lost, I thought.  The bus driver asked, "Didn't you hear me when I told the other kids that I was going to go through the stops backward?"  "No,"  I said, still in tears.  What was I going to do now?  I was all alone and I couldn't even tell you where I lived. 
     The bus driver looked through his rear view mirror as he said, "Well, let's gt you home."
     I can still remember my Mom and Dad's faces as the big yellow bus pulled up to my house, my Dad just leaving for work.  As I stepped down the stairs of the bus, so many thoughts were going through my head and the thought that kept coming back was, "Does he know me?"
     "See you tomorrow."  As I stepped off the bus, "Connie."  I looked back as the door closed.
     Sometimes I feel all alone, lost and afraid of my own shadow, but like that bus driver, God is there, always looking after me.
     Matthew 19:30 says that God even knows how many hair are on my head.  And God himself said in Hebrews 12:5, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you, so we say with confidence that Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid what can man do to me?"