Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Anticipation

     I was doing dishes last night, when a thought popped into my head.  This thought was about shopping.  The first of February is tomorrow, and I would like to get a few things.  Not really a bad thought to think, but the feeling that went with the thought wasn't to good.  You see, along with that thought, I felt joy, an anticipatory joy.  I told myself, "I can't wait to shop!"
     You may ask, "What is wrong with that?"  What I felt only took a few seconds, the first thought was; shopping, then anticipation, the joy and then the guilt.  I don't believe that God places guilt on us, it was all my guilt.  I know myself a bit and I know that I don't always feel that same joy when I have to study the Bible, or go to Church.  A lot of the time, I feel that the study time is my duty as a Christian, also going to Church and spending time with the Lord.
     After the sequence of thoughts, ending in guilt, I had another thought, "How does God feel about what I'm focusing on?"  I need to get my thoughts and feelings in line with the Bible, I need to feel that same anticipation and joy for God!  So I looked up what the Bible said on the subject.
     In Luke 12;22, Jesus said to His disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or your body, what you will wear.  Life is more important than food, and the body more than clothes."  Jesus says it again in Luke 12:29, "Do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it, for the pagan world runs after all such  things, your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom and these things will be given to you as well."
     I want to be in right standing with God, so instead of feeling joy when I am able to buy myself clothes or food, I will feel that joy and anticipation when I am near the Lord.  Colossians 3:12, "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."  And as the Holy Spirit does its work in me, I will feel that joy when I am clothed with these things, not with things of this world.
     It is hard at times learning to love an invisable God, but we can know Him and we can love Him.  1 peter 1:8 says about Jesus, "Though you have not seen Him, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy."  I want my joy to be in Jesus Christ, our Lord, in my God.

Monday, January 30, 2012

I Owe You

     I met my husband, Mark, when I was 28.  Soon after that, I gave my life to Christ.  I learned much of what I know from Mark and the Bible.
     I grew up going to the Catholic Church.  One idea I had, and lived by when I was young, was that, I had to work my way into heaven.  I spent a lot of my young age trying to do just that.  Then, after being frustrated when I couldn't be good enough, I spent my teen years messing up. 
     There is a story that I like in Luke.  Jesus was invited to have dinner with a pharisee.  While He was reclining at the table, a woman who had led a sinful life, in that town, came to Jesus.  She wet His feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.  She kissed his feet and poured perfume on them.  The pharisee seeing this, said to himself in Luke 7:39, "If this man were a prophet, He would know who is touching Him and what kind of woman she is-that she is a sinner."  Jesus did know who was touching Him, and He used the womans actions to make His point.
     Two men owed money to a certain moneylender.  One man owed 500 denarii, and the other man owed 50 denarii.  Neither man could pay the moneylender back, so the moneylender canceled the debts of both the men.  Jesus asked one of His disciples, "Which of the men loved the moneylender more?
     The man that owed 500 denarii was in debt, his debt was forgiven.  Jesus forgave the woman her debt also, and said that her faith saved her.  Because of my sins, I was in debt, I couldn't imagine how I could be saved after the life I had been living, but what seems impossible to me, is possible with Jesus.
     Romans 10:9-10 says, "That is you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart, God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are Justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Jump

By Elizabeth Bien

     Sometimes God says, "Jump"  And although you want to say, "No way."  The best thing to do is to respond with, "Yes father, how high?"  This can be the most difficult way to go, but if you make that jump with complete faith, and get through the trials, you will find an amazing reward at the end of each journy.
     My husband and I were living in a horrible neighborhood in Southern California a few years back.  We were both struggling with some major addictions and getting into more trouble than one person can handle on their own.  Our priorities were completely mixed up, and we were heading no where fast.  We were trying to justify our sins, making excuses for our lack of change, all the while digging ourselves deeper and deeper and deeper into a hole.
     My in-laws had moved to Oregon a couple years prior, and trying to convince us to make the leap to a new state, in many ways a whole new world, as well.  I felt deep in my heart that it was something that God wanted for us.  For a long time I came up with reasons why this was a bad idea.  My husband had a great job, I was close to getting hired at a good company, myself.  We had lots of friends and I was really close to my mom.  I could name reason after reason why we should not move.  But I was reluctant to accept the reality that this was a command from God,  I was scared.
     Well, almost all at once, all our reasons for staying, fell apart.  My husbands company began to fail.  I was turned down by the company that was so close to hiring me.  Our friends turned their backs on us, and my mom and I stopped talking over a ridiculous argument.  It got to the point where we were completely out of excuses.  Finally we accepted God's command and said, "Alright God, How high are we jumping?"
     In less than three days our apartment was completely cleaned out.  We packed up the absolute necessities only.  We sold what we could for gas money and we either gave away or threw away the rest.  We were all ready to leave when our trials really started!
     Satan was definitely trying his best to hold us back.  He knew what God had in store for us was going to be awsome, and Satan did not want that for us.  The day we were set to leave, my car, that I just made a payment on, was repossessed.  We shrugged it off and used some of our gas money to rent a mini van.  Once we were on the road, my two year old son got a sudden fit of car sickness.  Once we got cleaned up and he was feeling better, we got lost in Northern California.  Almost an entire day later, we were back on track, when our front drivers side tire blew out.  It was such a powerful explosion that it broke the entire drivers side rear view mirror clean off!  As my husband and I were on the side of the road, digging through our belongings for the spare tire, I had a complete emotional melt down.  I buried my head in my arms and sobbed like never before.  I felt lost, I wanted to turn back, but to where?  We left everything, we had nothing.  I should have been praying to God for strength, but instead, I was cursing my life.  I felt like we had made a huge mistake, and I hated myself for doing it.  I asked my husband, "What were we thinking?"  When suddenly a big white truck pulled up behind us. 
     A woman with a big golden retriever and an even bigger smile got out and started toward us.  After making sure that we were okay and didn't need her help, she handed me a little card and quietly told me, "God bless your family."
     I settled back into the passenger seat of the beat up mini van and read the orange card out loud.  At the very top it read, "Encouragement."  And below that, "For the eyes of the Lord range through out the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."  2 Chronicles 16:9.
     For the first time since leaving our small sad apartment filled with discouraging and depressing memories, we both smiled, and we continued on our way!  What felt like no longer than an hour later, we pulled up the long rocky driveway, right up to where God wanted us to be.
     Although I knew that this was only the beginning of our new lives, and we had plenty of work ahead; I still felt the first bit of hope, the first bit of peace, and a great deal of confidence in what was to come!
     it's never easy to let go of what we think is right in life, and follow God to our leaps in life.  Once we are able to put our full faith in the Lord, and do what He wants of us we find that things He has in store for us is a thousand times better than anything we could achieve on our own! 
     "Concider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith developes perseverance."  James 1:2-3.
    

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Evil Spirits

     Many of us fear demons.  Movies, Tv and Books portray demons as powerful beings that can do many unnatural and superhuman things, like take control of a person, torture, or kill.  Our vision of demons has become warped by societies ideas.
     Some people fear demons, some worship demons ether case is wrong, if you are a Christian.  We need to arm ourselves agaisnt the devil and his demons.  The Bible tells us to put on the full armor of God in Ephesians 6:11, and to stand against these demons as it states in Matthew 10:1.
     Demons operate above the laws of the natural realm.  They are invisible and united.  We are not fearing or fighting against flesh and blood, but against rulers and authorities, powers of this dark world and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, ephesians 6:12.
     Some demons are trapped in the abyss.  John had a vision in Revelations of the abyss opening and the demons that came out were locusts and in Revelations 16:13, he saw evil spirits or demons that looked like frogs.
     In Bible times and all through out time, people went to demons for information that they imagine they cant get anywhere else.  Fortune tellers and phychics who are supposedly in touch with spirits, most likely are in contact with demons posing as lost loved ones.  If you notice these spiritualists usually can be very specific on information on the past and the present, but much less accurate when it comes to the future.  Probably because demons can see what is going on right now and they have the ability to get information about the past, but only God can tell the future.
     In arming ourselves against these evil beings we should know as much about them and their traits as possible.  A lot of what the media is putting out is fake not fact.  The fact is that demons can cause a person to be dumb as in Matthew 9:32, can cause insanity as in Matthew 8:28, or can cause a person to be deformed as in Luke 13:11.  They can also do such simple things as confuse, or cause a person to be obsessed.
     It is our duty and responsibility to do good, to heal and to get these demons under control as the Bible tells us in Acts 10:38.  And their purpose is to make our lives harder, if we let them.  They can cause much distress, so instead of letting them control us, we need to learn to control.  There is a place prepared for the devil and his demons as we can see in Matthew 25:41.
     So put on that armor of God, with truth buckled around your waist, the breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace.  Take up your shield of faith and place the helmet of salvation on your head.  Also take up the one weapon we have, the sword of the spirit, with which we can speak into reality the scriptures that will defeat the devil and his demons.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Follow Me Down The Road

Come rain or come shine
nets out, he stands fishing
come Simon Peter, be fishers of men
there's time on my mind, but no time for wishing
come follow me down the road

Jesus ate with levi
when no one else would
say it once, no more taxes
slap on your sandals and hood
then follow me down the road

With carpenter leading
blessed be the poor
come out from your homes
leave open your doors
and follow me down the road

One man under authority, a soldier
tell him to go and he'll go
gets down on his knees
I'm your servant for all to know
I'll follow you down the road

Can a blind man lead a blind man?
No, both will fall in a pit
bad trees bear bad fruit
so there they both will sit
get up and follow me down the road

Wake up and be born twice
Hear Jesus pleading
He's died for the living
with words He is leading
all of us down the road

All wrapped up in your concerns
what really matters is your heart
make a change, walk with Christ
that end, could be a new start
Please follow Him down the road

Broken Dreams

Author Unknown

As children bring
their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams
to God
Because He was my friend.

But then instead
of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,
I hung around
and tried to help
with ways
that were my own.

At last I snached them back
and cried,
"How could You be so slow"
"My child,"  He said,
"What could I do? 
you never did let go."

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Last Migraine

     I got my first migraine when I was in sixth grade.  I didn't know what it was.  I got a spot in my vision and at that time, when the spot went away, I got a terrible headache.  My Mom told me what was happening to me.  She had migraines before me.  At that time I got about one migraine a year.
     The migraines increased in amount and intensity, in my twenties.  I started getting them about one a month when I was pregnant with my first three kids.  The pain was worse and not only did I get a spot in my vision and the headache that came after, but in between, I got a numbness in my face and hands and I also got very confused.  The migraines scared me so I went to see a doctor.  The doctor basically said that there was nothing she could do.  That was the early 80's.
     By the time I was 30, I was getting one migraine a week.  They cut into my work and made my life miserable.  I did find that caffeine helped a bit, but they would still put me in bed for a whole day.
     August of 1992, my husband Mark and I were in the sign business.  We were in the middle of painting a banner, when I got the telling spot.  I knew what was going to follow, and of course it did.  I got the numbness, the confusion and then the very painful, headache.  I asked Mark to, "Please, pray for me!"  I trully believed that the prayer would help, his prayers had helped before.  But this time Mark got his Mom to pray, also.  Marks Mom, Mary, Has been a Christian all her life, I just knew her prayers would get rid of the pain of that migraine. 
     The real miracle was that their prayers not only got rid of the pain that day, but I haven't had a migraine for 19 years!  Thank God!
    

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Fear Him

"Anxiety and agitation caused by the presence of danger, evil, pain, etc."  That is one definition of the word, fear.

     I grew up fearing so many things.  School was a big fear, and then there were all the kids and the teachers to be afraid of, just to name a few.  My childhood was wonderful, and dreadful.  I couldn't have asked for a better family, but this fear in side of me, was eating away at me.  Since that time I have learned a bit about fear.
     The fear that I was feeling wasn't good.  It was truly painful, and it kept me from doing many things.  But there is another definition of fear and that is, "To feel awe or reverence for."  Reverence, meaning, love or respect.
     Not all fear is bad, I just needed to get my fear in line with God's word.  Psalm 128:1 says, "Blessed are all who fear the Lord" And Psalm 145:19 says, "He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him."
     Proverbs 10:27 says that if you fear the Lord He will add length to your life.  Proverbs 9:10 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."
     When I think about fearing the Lord, I like to remember how I felt for my dad.  God is our father and it makes sense that He wants to be respected, He wants to be loved.  God does not want us to be afraid of Him, in a painful way.  I dearly loved my dad and I am learning to love the Lord in that same way.
     We know the Bible tells us to fear the Lord, but it also tells us not to fear, man.  Proverbs 29:25 says, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts the Lord is kept safe."
     I am trying to deal with the bad fear, that I have been feeling my whole life, and at the same time, learning how to love and respect, or fear God.  Fear can be a bad thing, but the right kind of fear can add much to your life.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Piano Lessons

     Once a week when I was in grade school, I would spend an hour taking a piano lesson.  Along with that, my mom set up a half an hour practice time every day.  This went on for about three years.  At the end of those three years I was an average piano player.  I could read music, and I could play three books full of basic songs.  I played a little bit here and a little bit there, but I never got really good.
     What is the difference between an expert, or professional, piano player, and me?  I would say, love, time and dedication.
     God has given us the gift of Jesus Christ.  How much time should we spend with Him?  One hour a week?  One hour a week and a half an hour a day?  As with my piano playing, that might make us an average Christian.  But if you really want to excel, it takes more.  We should love Jesus, dedicate ourselves to Him, and practice the things that He wants to teach us.

Some of the ways to dedicate ourselves are:
1. Reading and studying the Bible; know God and what He wants for us.
2. Prayer; prayer makes us sharp.  You can cut a lot of wood with a dull ax, but why would you want to work harder for less?  Sharpen your ax.
3. Fellowship; fellowship keeps the fire burning.  It takes many pieces of wood, close together, to make a good fire.  If you take one of the burning sticks out of the fire and set it apart from the others, chances are it will go out.  We need fellowship to keep us burning strong.  And sometimes we need it most when we want it the least.
4. Giving; our heart is where our treasure is, and not the other way around.  Give to God, where He leads, and your heart will be with Him.
5. Ministry; ministry feeds us.

So wheather it's the piano, or living a Christian life, it takes love, time, practice and dedication to be more than average; to excel.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

In The Desert

     "Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil."  Matthew 4:1
     God was pleased when Jesus was baptized.  Matthew 3:16, "As soon as Jesus was baptized, He went up and out of the water.  At that moment Heaven was opened, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on Him.  And a voice from Heaven said, 'this is my son whom I love; with Him I am well pleased."  But right after He was baptized, God sent Him into the wilderness to be tested.
     I don't understand why this happens, but it does.  We do something good, in Gods eyes, then we are taken into an emptiness, or depression.  Maybe it's so we don't get prideful, I'm not sure why it happens, but I do know that it does happen.  Some of the best things I have done have been folloewd by depression, or by testing, and if I don't remember this, the testing is very hard to get through.
     In Matthew 4:2, the Bible says that Jesus was hungry from fasting for 40 days and 40 nights.  And when he was weak, Satan came to tempt Him.  Satan offered Jesus several ways out of His chosen path, but Jesus fought back with scripture, with the word of God.
     It is so important to learn scripture, and the Holy Spirit will bring that scripture to mind when we are in need of it, but first we have to get it into our minds, study, and memorize, and be ready for the ambush.

Tips for getting ready to battle:
    
     1. Pick out scriptures that mean something to you.

     2. On paper, print out several scriptures then cut each scripture out.

     3. Tape the scriptures up anywhere you spend a lot of time.

     4. Every time a scripture is in front of you, repeat it, and repeat it often.

Then:

     Pray and refocus

Also:

     Learn songs, it's easier for a melody to come in to your head.

     the adversary is waiting to attack.  We have to be ready for conflict, so yes, study but also memorize scriptures.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Last Migraine

     I got my first migraine when I was in the sixth grade.  I didn't know what it was.  I got a spot in my vision and at that time, when the spot went away, I got a terrible headache.  My mom told me what was happening to me.  She had migraines before me.  Between the time I was 11 until I was in my twenties, I got about one migraine a year.
     The migraines increased in amount and in intensity, in my early twenties.  I started getting them about one a month when I was pregnant with my first three kids.  The pain was worse and not only did I get a spot in my vision and the headache that came after, but in between, I got a numbness in my face and hands, and I also got very confused.  The migraines scared me, so I went to see a doctor.  The doctor basically said that there was nothing she could do.  That was the early 80's.
     By the time I was 30, I was getting a migraine a week.  They cut into my work and made my life miserable.  I did find that caffeine helped a bit, but they would still put me in bed for a whole day.
     August of 1992, my husband, Mark and I, had our own sign business.  We were right in the middle of painting a banner, when I got the telling, spot.  I knew what was going to follow, and of course it did.  I got the numbness the confusion and the very painful, headache.  I asked Mark to, "Please, pray for me!"  I trully believed that the prayer would help me, it had before.  But this time Mark got his mom to pray with us.  Marks mom, Mary, has been a Christian all of her life, I just knew that her prayers would get rid of the pain, that day. 
     The real miracle was that their prayers not only got rid of the pain that day, but I haven't had a migraine for 19 years!  Thank God!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Every Possible Hardship

By Elizabeth Bien

     Just like my Mom told me, all our struggles are because God loves us!
     You know for a really long time I was really angry about the hard times I have gone through.  I felt like every possible hardship a person can have, got thrown right in front of me!  I was so mad and I hated my life.  I felt like it just wasn't fair!  Most people go through one big hardship in their lives, but I was getting hit with everything!
     Then I started realizing that I was able to help others through their tough times because I had gone through it myself.  As well, I was noticing that people came to me when they were struggling and I could help them.
     It took me a long time to accept that I have absolutely no talent, until I saw that helping people is my talent.  I would much rather be able to make others feel better, and help them find a reason to smile and be positive again, than some other things that I might have had.
     I think that anytime a person can help someone through a tough time, it heals the soul!  I feel blessed that I can understand and help a few extra people in my life!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

God's God My Back

By Elizabeth Bien

     I believe that if we are not trusting God with our minor problems, then He is going to make us trust Him, by giving us so much that there is nothing left to do but give it to the Lord.
     Before we were going to move, our problems were, "Money will be a little tight after buying school supplies."  And, "I really need to clean my apartment."  I thought I was stressed, Ha!  God was telling me to trust Him and things will be fine, but I didn't listen!
     Then to my surprise, my husband, Curtis, found tons of mold in our new place.  Curtis got three tickets in two days, we were told we couldn't stay in our present apartment because it had already been rented out.  We were not going to get our money back from the other landlord, and so on and so on!
     Finally it was too much for me, I asked for everyone to pray.  I wiped my swollen red eyes, and I gave it to the Lord.  It was hard to loosten my grip on my problems, but I did it!
     Then I found out that I can get my license back, the people that were going to move into our apartment backed out so we could stay where we are.  And the owner of the moldy place brought us a check for the deposit and rent we paid and he even paid Curtis for painting that apartment!
     God definitely taught me a lesson.  I'm not going to sweat the small stuff.  It's not worth it, but also, God's got my back!  I know I will still worry and stress, but at least for now, I realize that I can't take it on myself, only the Lord can!  He can do it!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Program

     If it was your job to come up with a TV add for a weight loss program, how would you handle it?  Who would you get to be in your comercial, to be your spokes person?  Maybe someone tan and muscular with a flawless body?
     I would like to think of myself as a spokes person for Christianity, so I thought that the best way to attract people to God, was for them to see my flawless life.  I don't believe that way anymore, and that is a good thing because, I don't have a flawless life.
     Let's use the weight loss add for an example again.  You turn on your TV and see someone with the perfect body, saying, "Try my weight loss program!"  You might think, "Yeah, right, that person looks like they have never had a problem with weight in their life."  That add wouldn't sell me, because it's not believeable.
     So using the weight loss add as my Christian spokes person eye opener, I started to think about the adds that I feel are the most effective.  I noticed that the one that got my attention, started out with a real person who felt they had a real problem.  This person told about their struggles with their weight, also how it has effected their life and health.  Then the adds showed the same person after going through the program.  This same person talked about how much better they felt and how their life had changed.
     I could see the difference in this person, so I could believe the progress that they said they had made.  it was real, and I could tell.
     I may feel uncomfortable telling people my sins, doubts and weaknesses, but those are what show that I am a real person, just like everyone else.  I also believe showing that I am human, is an effective way to attract people to God.  After all, if He loves me with all of my flaws, He can love anyone!  And what could be better than someone seeing my problem areas, then see the progress as Jesus helps me to over come those weak spots.
     No one is better to use as an example of being human than David.  God loved David and David was far from being perfect.  The thing about David was that he had so much love for God.  David made many mistakes, but he was still a man after Gods own heart.  God did allow a lot of bad things to happen in David's life, as a result of David's actions.  But God also richly blessed David.
     Some one once told me that I had to be perfect before I became a Christian, but I've found that, not to be true.  It's hard to be a good person, and it's impossible to be perfect without the Holy Spirit.
     I would like to be flawless, I would like to please God and I would like my life to be and example to others.  Weather it be a TV add to loose weight, or being a spokes person for our Christian life style, being totally real, works the best.

Monday, January 9, 2012

By The Grace Of God

     My husband Mark, told me something years ago that got me to think.  He said, "When you are bothered by something in a person, look close at yourself, it could be that you are bothered because you are the same way."
     I wrote a letter to a friend, telling her how bad I was feeling.  I told her that my family was having a hard time.  My son, Michael, had just been born, that alone was hard, but we also had to learn to deal with Mark's hepatitis C.  We were finding it harder and harder to do the sign work that we had been doing, because we not had two babies and Mark was just to sick to work.  We were getting into deep debt, and I was getting very depressed.  I wrote about all of the pain that I felt when I attended Church.  Seeing people that were happy and doing well financially, hurt me inside.  I felt like less of a person, even though no one ever said anything bad, I felt sure that people were looking down on me.
     Writing that letter to my friend, along with the words that Mark had said to me, made me realize that I felt the way I did not because of the way others treated me, but because I thought the way they treated me should have changed.  When Mark and I were doing well financially and emotionally, I might have looked down on someone like me because I didn't understand what they had been through.  I didn't see it in myself, but I was filled with pride.  I might have looked down on taking charity, borrowing money, or people loosing their temper.  That changed.
     My stepdaughter, Melody, was staying with us off and on, and I watched her loose her temper at times.  She had two children of her own, then she took on the responsibility of her young brother and sister.  She always seemed tense and angry.  I didn't understand what she was going through.  I looked at her situation and I prayed for God to help.  God heard my prayer and answered in a way I would have never expected.  He showed me that a change in circumstances could turn a fairly patient woman into a woman on the edge.
     Melody asked us if we could watch her son for ten days while she went out of town.  Her son Gabriel was under a year old and my sons, Michael and Elijah were also babies.  The first few days went fine, but as the days went by I got more and more tired from the added responsibility.  And her baby, Gabriel, decided that he was tired of us, and he wanted his own mom.  He cried most of the next seven days.  On top of all the madness that seemed to be going on, one of the days, Mark had to spend the day at school, he was taking a music class, and I just happened to have one of the worst headaches I can remember.  Three helpless babies and me, a very tired and nervous woman with a terrible headache, and no one to help me.  By the time Mark came home from school, I was a wreck!  I was in tears and I was yelling.  I felt I was breaking down.
     It was then that I not only understood what Melody must have gone through, but I also gained respect for the guts and strength she showed in that year she had her young brother and sister.  I feel bad that I looked down on her.  The worst part of it was that I had no idea how prideful I was.  God had a way of setting up a situation to open your eyes, and then He wispers, "Look."
     My prayer for myself is that I can look at people in situations different from my own and not lift myself up by putting others down, but that I can learn to feel for them.  Then when I pray it can be out of love and empathy.  The saying that was impressed on me was, "There by the grace of God go I."

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Courage

     At times I have felt like I wanted more in my spiritual life, but I have stayed where I am because I was comfortable with what I believed.  I have been afraid of the difficulty involved in possible growth.  When things came up that made me question the doctrine of what I believed, I felt apprehensive to take an honest look and maybe admit that I had been wrong about a point of conviction. 
     Now, I am not talking about the Gospel.  The Gospel is the good news, that Jesus died on the cross, so that we can be saved.  That, I will not budge on.  But there are small differences that Christians have, that today might seem right but tomorrow, I could be proven wrong.
     Something happened that forced me to look at all of this a little closer.  I met two people within a few days that believed a little different than I believed.  Though we were three Christians, looking at the same thing, three different ways.  Each one of us was positive that what we had learned was the truth.  I didn't understand why these two people didn't admit that they were wrong.  I wanted to look into the subject a bit deeper but I was afraid that I might be the one that was wrong.  Each one of us was being close minded.  We clung on to what we had learned.  I had convincing arguments and scriptures to back up what I was saying, but so did they.
     What was happening?  Was I holding on to my way of thinking because it was familiar and easier than checking out something new?  Was I afraid of finding out that some of what I believed was wrong?  Again, I'm not talking about the Gospel.  And how would being wrong make me look?  Oh, and what about the work?  If I was wrong, I would have to take the time and make the effort to learn something new, taking a risk of making mistakes until it became familiar to me.  It would be so much easier to decide these other two views were wrong.
     My husband, Mark has been a musician for most of his life.  He is extremely gifted.  He taught himself to play piano and guitar, by ear.  He was very comfortable with his style of playing.  After all these years of playing on his own, he decided to go back to school, and learn how to read music.  He enrolled in a beginning piano class at the collage.  I know it was a humbling experience for him.  He has played on our church worship team for years.  He also had a band on the side that played for many Christian concerts.  With all the experience that he has with music, he still had a hard time in this begining collage class.  He was making many mistakes, playing the most basic songs.  It took a lot of courage for Mark to put himself in the position of being a student, and learn a new way of playing.
     I wanted to know more spiritually.  But I still had to search my heart to find out if I could handle the time and effort involved.  I also had to put my pride aside, and know that I will make some mistakes.  When I was honest with myself, I realized that nothing should be as important as knowing what was true and what was right.  I need to be able to do this without an, "Out to prove something" attitude.  And instead have a, "If this is true, I want to know, " attitude.
     This may make me feel venerable, but in the end, I will know the truth, and be sure of it.
     Mark almost failed the beginning music class.  He was going to give up and take the failing grade, but two days before the final, he changed his mind.  Mark studied and he learned a new way of playing the piano.  He passed the class with a B.  I thought he did an amazing job.
     Now I have to find that courage that Mark found and open my eyes and ears and study, so that I can continue my walk with the Lord, and as Paul says in 2 Timothy 2:15,  "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

Saturday, January 7, 2012

What's Up Today

     If you read my blog, you might have noticed that I haven't written anything new lately.  Well, I go through ups and downs and, that was a down.  I get discouraged and I don't feel like doing much of anything. 
     I promise you that I will try to get back to it as soon as I can.  Thank you for reading, I truly appreciate it.

Connie