Friday, September 30, 2011

Elijah's fever

     My little boy, Elijah, had a low grade fever, a cough and congestion in his chest.  On a wednesday evening, we said a prayer for him.  He didn't seem better.  Hours later we said another prayer for him, he didn't seem better.  Off and on during the night, he would wake up and cry and I would say, "Jesus help him!"  I know that Jesus died on the cross so that Elijah could be healed.  I even said, "By His stripes we were healed, " over and over.  I know Jesus is faithful and I prayed for Him to forgive my sins, but in the morning, Elijah still seemed sick.
     I started to wonder why sometimes we get healed and sometimes we don't.  I could picture healing, like the bottle of medecine that I had sitting by my bed.  I bought it and it's here in the house.  I can use it when I want to.  I don't have to beg anyone to use it.  I don't even have to ask if I can use it, it's mine.  And I don't have to go out and buy it over again, it's already here for me to use.  I just have to pick it up and use it.  I know that healing is the same.  It's here for me, but how do I pick it up and use it?
     I know that the words in the Bible are powerful.  Not just what they say, the actual words; the truth.  The words are Jesus and His power.  So I took Elijah and put him in his swing.  I got my promise book and I looked up sickness.  I read to him and I imagined the words going into his ears.  I imagined that the words were Jesus, and Jesus was now in Elijah's body, healing him.  While I was doing this something happened. 
     My pastor recently asked, "have you ever had one of those revelations where you say, 'Hey, God loves me!'  And the person you are talking to says,' I know'  and you say, 'No you don't understand, God loves me!"  I heard that was called quickening to your spirit; made alive in your heart.  It's not just a bunch of words anymore; its alive in you.  Well, that is what happened to me, "By His stripes we were healed" came alive to me and it meant so much more. 
     My friend Loretta told me that she used to feel bad praying for God to heal her headaches; like it was a selfish thing.  She added that now she prays all the time for her headaches to feel better.  She made a joke, saying that she even lays hands on herself.
     Isaiah 53:5 says, "But He was wounded for our transgressions; he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed."
     When I read this, I thought about how I would feel if I worked a month, or even a week to buy something special for one of my kids, and I did it because I loved him so much that I wanted him to have something special that would make their life easier.  I would feel like all the work was worth it, if it helped them.  If I did all of this and he took it, said, "Thanks."  and threw it in the corner never to use it and with no understanding what I went through to get it for him, I would feel hurt.  And If I had to stand and watch him suffer even though he had that special gift to help them, It would be painful for me.  I might wonder why I bothered in the first place.
     I would feel that way about a little work, a little money.  What does Jesus think?  He is God, He made himself a body, came down to earth, let the people that he loved, and did this for, whip, hate, and kill Him, and what do I do?  I say, "Oh thanks"...and throw His gift in the corner.
     I wish I could say that Elijah felt 100% better after my quickening, but he still seemed sick.  But I feel different and I am committed to finding out everything I can on how to use God's gift to me. 
    
 I took Elijah's temperature about 2 hours after this this took place, and it was normal, and he did seem better.

Guilty Conscience

     Our Church holds a prayer meeting every Tuesday night.  There were three or four meetings, one February, that stand out in my memory.  The Holy Spirit was really moving.  Wonderful things were happening, and we could feel Jesus in the middle of it all.
     One of these Tuesday nights, My husband, Mark,  was in charge of leading the service, we asked everyone attending Church if they would fast and pray before coming on Tuesday night.  More people attended that Tuesday night than ever before.
     This Tuesday night, we began by singing praise songs.  Next, Mark asked everyone to confess their sins, out loud or quietly, he told us all to do as we were led.  One person after another, confessed their sins out loud.  I was so touched by this, I wanted to join in with the others, and confess my sins out loud, but I couldn't.  I have a hard time talking in front of a large group, so I confessed my sins silently.  But the more people that spoke out, the more I felt bad about being silent.  I couldn't do what I wanted to do and I even started to feel guilty about it.
     A lot of time passed and when it seemed that everyone had finished, Mark moved on.  There was more singing and Mark talked for a while.  Two men got down down on their knees and lifted their hands, as I looked around the group, I saw other hands raised, and some were crying.  I wanted to be a part of it.  I wanted to do it all, get on my knees, cry, lift my hands to God, but I couldn't do anything.
     The thing that I didn't realize until later was, that I wasn't feeling this guilt over my sins.  I had confessed my sins silently to God, and I had believed that God had forgiven me.  But because I wasn't bold enough, I couldn't forgive myself.  I wanted so badly to participate in the rest of the service, but instead I sat and watched.  I didn't feel like I was part of the wonderful things that were happening.
     The next day I felt depressed.  I said over and over, "I'm sorry Lord that I didn't speak out."  I kept thinking, "What is the matter with me?  Everyone else could do it."  I just couldn't get rid of the guilt that I felt.
     Finally, I told Mark what I had been going through.  Mark was wonderful about it.  He prayed for me, then we opened the Bible.  Without thinking about it, I turned in my Bible to Hebrews.  There it was, like medicine to my spirit.  As I read in Hebrews, every bad feeling I was holding on to, left me.
     The part that really spoke to me was Hebrews 10: 19- 23, "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the most Holy Place, by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His Body, and since we have a great Priest over the house of God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us form a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful."
     I realized that I had been choosing to hold on to the guilt, forgetting just how much Jesus has done for us.  And because of it, I had missed out on something wonderful.  In this scripture I could here God telling me,  "Let the guilt go!"  And so I did.
    

Joyful Obedience

     My five kids say, "Thank you"  All of the time.  They tell me how much they appreciate me.  I like it when they say these things, and mean them.  They make me feel that what I am doing, as a mother, means something to them.
     I feel that I appreciate the things that Jesus has done for me.  I try to keep my eyes opened to all the answered prayers, in my life, and I thank Him for everything.  I have always felt that appreciation is so important.  I recently learned something else that is important, something I have never given much thought to.
     I was in my last month of pregnancy, with my son , Michael.  My son, Elijah, was just a baby.  With five kids, I had so much to do, and I was tired much of the time.  I started asking my older three kids to help me out with more than their usual chores.  They weren't used to me asking them to do so much work, and at times I would hear their complaints, "Why can't someone else do it?"
     I did know that they appreciated the things that I did for them, so when they started to grumble, I realized that along with appreciation, comes joyful obedience.  They are good kids, so they did do all the added work, but they complained the whole time, and I felt hurt.  I felt that I do so much for them, they should be happy to do something for me, when I needed them to.  Joyful obedience, that is what I was hoping for, from my children.
     I knew God was talking to me, the very next Sunday, at Church, when the pastors sermon was on, joyful obedience, to God.  Pastor Brad, talked about making a promise to God, and keeping that promise with a joyful heart.  That message touched me, and I had to examine my relationship with God.  I asked myself,  "Am I joyfully obedient?"
     Appreciating God, and all that he has done for us is important, but along with that, we should whole heartedly be filled with joy, when we have something extra to do for the Lord.
     Romans 6:16- 18,  "Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one you obey- wheather you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?  But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you whole- heartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

School

     I graduated high school in 1979.  Just after that I got married and had kids.  I never had the time to go back to school. and I've always felt a bit ashmed of that.  And sometimes I've even felt like a failure by the worlds standards, that was until I looked at my life with Christian colored glasses on.
     I've been writing short stories about my experiences and the Christian lessons that I've learned, since 1995, around the time my youngest son was born.
     Once in a while I take one of the stories over to my Mom, if I think it's something she might like.  About a month ago, I brought her a story called, " The Blood."  She read the story, looked up at me and said, "How do you know all of this?"  She being 82 years old, and a lifetime Catholic, asking me how I know all of this, was a compliment.  I answered, "I studied the Bible, Mom."
     Later, when I had time to really think about it, I realized that there was more to it than that.  I did study the bible, 2 Timothy 2: 15 says, "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, A workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of Truth."
     I have also been taught by the Holy Spirit, Hebrews, 10: 15 says, "The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this.  First He says, this is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord.  I will put my laws in their hearts and I will write them on their minds,"  Also 1 John 2: 27 says, "As for you, the anointing you received from Him, remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you.  But as His anointing teaches you about all the things and as the anointing is real, not counterfeit- just as it has taught you, remain in Him."
     As in school, I have been tested and re-tested as you can see in Thessalonians 2: 4, "We speak as men approved by God, who tests our hearts."
     I may not have a lot of money, or have a degree from a prominent school, but I feel that I have been schooled since I became a Christian.  I still have a long way to go, but when I graduate, I will have accomplished something very special.
    

1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Relationships, Misunderstandings and Forgiveness

     Good relationships are maintained through a good balance.  We need a good balance to stay physically healthy and we also need a good balance to stay spiritually healthy and to have good relationships.  It's an every day thing.  We have to eat every day to maintain physical well being and the same principals apply to our spiritual life.  The word of God is our spiritual food.  Jesus said in John 6: 27, "Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the son of man will give you.  on Him, God the Father has placed His seal of approval."  We have to study the Bible every day.  Pick a subject or a project, and put some time aside for it.  Get a concordance and look up every scripture about the Holy Spirit, or health, marriage or love.  Just pick a topic and get into it.  Just like anything, it will take some effort, until you make it routine.  Your flesh might fight it, but soon you will want to do it.  It's exciting, and God will bless you.  Make it strictly Bible, though, the Word, your spiritual food.
     We need exercise, for physical strength and we need prayer and minestry for spiritual strength.  Pray all day, pray about everything.  Tell Jesus exactally how you feel.  Look deep inside yourself and pray.  And along with prayer, find a minestry.  Work on it often.
     To stay healthy, your body needs rest.  We also need to rest in the lord.  Sing to God, worship Jesus, every day.  Turn on some music, sing and dance in the spirit, rest in Him.  Then mentally let go of all bitterness.  Forgive those who made you angry.  You don't have to physically go to each person, just don't cling on to anger.  Picture anger, hate and bitterness, put that big black mass into a nice basket and say, "Here, Lord, you can have these feelings.  Help me to recieve peace."  Ask God to change the hearts and attitudes of those who you are having problems with.  Then knowing that God answers prayer, stand firm, nothing wavering, believe.
     If you are like me, you have tried to change others on your own.  That doesn't work, so try giving it to God.  It may not happen all at once but soon you will see change, in yourself and others.  Some things may take more time and you might have to get to the root of your feelings, but God will help, He is faithful.
     You are also going to have to want the help.  Maybe you think you do, but deep down it seems to hard.  Or maybe you actually like those feelings of anger.  So if you honestly can't pray, "Lord help me to forgive."  Then pray, "Lord help me to want to forgive, help me to want to change, help me to want to love others."  Also pray for the ones causing you trouble to understand you.  When you have done this balance of things, then your relationships will get better.  And the things that seemed irritating and impossible, will seem petty and small.
     One more thing.  Before you talk to anyone you are having problems with, pray, bind up anything that might make that person misunderstand.  Pray that the Holy Spirit will fill you and give you the right words.  And pray that their ears will be open to your words and feelings.  Most arguments are because of a misunderstanding.  So be sure that when you talk, that you both understand the real feelings behind the words.  And like I say so often, listen for Gods voice and follow.

Elijah The Prophet

     I love the story of Elijah the prophet.  I heard it many years ago, and I even named my fourth child after the Bible account.  But being in a situation like Elijah's isn't what I had wanted for myself.
     In 1 Kings 17, God sent Elijah to a widow woman's house.  This woman was getting ready to fix the last of her food for her son and herself, then they were going to prepare to die.  Elijah told her to make a cake of bread for him first.  She had faith and she did as he asked.  Elijah ate then the woman and the boy ate too. Now God didn't fill up the jar with flour or the jug with oil, but each day there was just enough to feed the three of them.  God wanted them to put their faith in Him, not in the jar and the jug. 
     I know how this feels.  My family has had to live by faith for the last 22 years.  There is never enough money to supply all our needs , but some how we make it each month.  At times this is very hard but there is a peace in knowing that I am not the one in charge.
     This scripture helps me when I start counting out how many days of food we have.  Jesus said in Matthew 6: 25-27, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The New Job

     Change can be exciting, It can also be difficult or frightening.  My friend, Lyn, was about to start a new job.  She was excited as she told me that the new job was going to pay more than her old job.  It was a desk job so she wouldn't have to be on her feet all day.  She also liked the idea of dressing up instead of wearing a uniform.
     I saw lyn a few weeks after she started her job.  I asked her how it was going.  She was really down.  She said that the new job was a lot harder than she thought it would be.  She had made a few mistakes and she felt so bad about them, that she was ready to quit.  I asked her, "Didn't you make any mistakes when you started your old job?"  "Oh yeah, lots of them."  She replied.
     It's easy to get comfortable with familiar things.  Even if they aren't perfect, they are routine.  Who knows what things will be like if we make a change.  Change can look like a wonderful thing.  But in the middle of a change, it's easy to feel alone, uneasy and inadequate.
     When I was a kid there was a popular show called, "Lets Make A Deal."  The big winner of the day got a chance to keep a prize that they had already won, or to trade the prize to win something even better.  They got a choice of three doors to pick from; behind the right door could be something wonderful.  But if you picked the wrong door, you would find out that you now own a pig, or some joke prize.  Picking the right door would mean winning the grand prize.
     Lyn, took a job that sounded better than the job she already had.  Her mistakes made her feel like she picked the wrong door.  Becoming a Christian may feel like taking a hard new job, you may feel like you won a joke prize.  But sticking with it is like winning the grand prize.
     In Philippians 3: 12, Paul said, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God had called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

The Healer

     In the Bible, Jesus didn't heal the same way every time.  In Matthew 8: 5, Jesus told the centurion that as he believed, it would be done.  In Matthew 8: 14 and 9: 24, He touched the hands.  In Matthew 8: 32, He said, "Go," and the demons left the two possessed men.  In Matthew 9: 2, Jesus forgave a paralytic his sins, then told him to get up and go home.  In Matthew 9: 22, the woman touched the hem of His cloak, and she was healed.  He touched the eyes of the blind and mute men in Matthew 9: 29.  In Mark 8: 22, Jesus spit into his hand, then put His hands on the blind mans eyes.  A man that was born blind, in John 9: 6, Jesus made mud out of his spit, and put it on the mans eyes.
     There is no magical pattern that will work every time, there is no routine to follow.  Jesus did give us a guide on how to pray to the Father, but not on how to heal.  God showed us with Moses, that it's not what we do that is as important as just listening to the Lord and being complient.  In Exodus 17, God tells Moses to strike a rock with his staff to get water.  The next time Moses wanted water, he did the same thing but didn't get water .
     When you need to be healed, ask God to show you how to pray.  Ask the Lord what you need to do to be healed.  Think about all of the different illnesses there are, and all of the different remedies that there are.  A pain killer will work if you are in pain, but if you took it for strep throat, you wouldn't get well, it would just cover the pain.  Even taking antibiotics, if they aren't taken as prescribed, the illness might come back, and maybe even worse.
     Just as you would listen to a doctor, listen to the Holy Spirit.  If you went into a doctors office and you did all the talking, you wouldn't have any idea what to do.  What makes us think that just because a prayer is long, because of it's many words, it will be effective.
     Ask, then listen for the Holy Spirit, and most important, be complient, when we do hear Gods voice.

Evening News

When I pick up the paper
     All the violence that I see
When I turn on the TV
     That bad news is getting to me
Just can't escape it, no
     Jesus said this is how it would be
We've got teenage parents
     Doing drugs and drinking alcohol
Living off of welfare
     Barely getting by at all
And the devil keeps lying
     He's setting them up for a fall

And that evening news is singing the blues
And the devil is roaming around
He's crusing the Earth and he's giving birth
To sin and bringing people down
But we've read the Book and we're gonna win
Cause we've got the victory over sin
In Jesus

Ive been reading my Bible
     And I can't deny what I've read
You know the end is comming
     The proofs around its all been said
The world is listening to
     A new age of psychic lies
Calling dial a demon
     Listing to some bad advice
And those firey darts
     Gonna hit em right between the eyes

And that evening news is singing the blues
And the devil is roaming around
He crusing the Earth and he's giving birth
To sin and bringing people down
But we've read the book and we're gonna win
Cause we've got the victory over sin
In Jesus

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Righteous?

     I've tried so many times, by my own strength and power, to be a good person.  I always end up messing up in one way or another.  And when I do mess up, I feel guilty, so I try harder, I mess up again and I feel worse.  I've been to the point where I feel like I just can't do this Christian stuff anymore, I'm not good enough.  About the time I'm ready to quit, God reminds me, that It's not me but the Holy Spirit in me, that makes me good.  And the thing that I have to do is surrender, and let Jesus do his work in me.
     If I try to earn my righteousness and salvation, by trying to be a good person, I'm putting myself under the law.  James 2:10 says, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."
     I don't have to be perfect to be righteous, I just have to believe in Jesus, "Romans 3:22 says, "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe."  And the guilt I felt was to get me to give up.  Hebrews 10:22 says, "Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of Faith having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscious."
     I used to watch a lot of horror movies.  When I became a Christian, I thought I probably shouldn't watch those movies anymore.  Galatians 5:16-18 says, "The sinful nature desires what is contrary to the spirit and the spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with each other so that you do not do what you want."  That scripture described how I was feeling.  A new horror movie would come out and I would say, "Oh, that sounds terrible."  A week later, Mark and I would be sitting in the theater, watching it.  I would try not to, but the harder I would try , in my own power, the worse I would want to see it. 
     I finally prayed, "God, I don't want to watch these movies, Please help me!"
     The next movie we went to see was a big mistake.  I have never felt so uncomfortable.  I cringed through the whole movie and couldn't wait to get out of the theater.  After that, the hold that those kinds of movies had on me, left.
     I couldn't make the change on my own.  Trying, just ended up making me feel guilty.  Thank God that I didn't have to do it on my own.  I did have to have a deep desire to change, I had to pray, I had to give it to God and trust him to take care of it, and I had to let the Holy Spirit do it's work in me.

The Acts Of The Sinful Nature

Galatians 5:19

Debauchery: To lead astray morally.  Extreme indulgence of ones appetites

Sexual immorality: Not in comformity with accepted principles of right and wrong behavior; lewd; obscene

Idolatry: Excessive devotion to or reverence for some person or thing.

Witchcraft: Having supernatural power by compact with evil spirits.

Hatred: A strong feeling of dislike or ill will.

Discord: Disagreement; a lack of harmony.

Jealosy: Watchful or solicitous in guarding or keeping resentfully suspecious demanding exclusie loyalty.

Rage: A furious uncontrolled anger; to show violent anger in action or speech.

Selfish ambition: Having such regard for ones own interests and advantage that the welfare of others becomes of less concern than is considered just.

Dissensions: to disagree; think of differently.  Difference of opinion.

Factions: A group of people in an organization who have common aims, usually dissident from the main body.

Envy: A feeling of discontent and ill will because of anothers advantages possessions etc.  Desire for something belonging to another

Drunkenness, orgies and the like

Monday, September 26, 2011

By The Grace Of God

     My husband, Mark, told me something, years ago, that really made me think.  He said, "When you are bothered by something in a person, look close at yourself, it could be that you are bothered because you are the same way."
     I wrote a letter to a friend, telling her how bad I was feeling.  I told her that my family was having a hard time.  My son, Michael had just been born, that alone was hard but we also had to learn how to deal with Mark's Hepatitis C.  We were finding it harder and harder to do the sign work that we had been doing, because we now had two babies and Mark was just to sick to work.  We were getting into deep debt, and I was getting very depressed.  I wrote about the pain I felt when I attended Church.  Seeing people that were happy and doing well, financially, hurt me inside.  I felt less of a person.  Even though no one ever said anything bad to me, I felt sure that people were looking down on me.
     Writing that letter, along with the words that Mark had said to me, made me realize that I felt the way I did, not because of the way others treated me, but because I thought the way they treated me should have changed.  When Mark and I were doing well financially and emotionally, I might have looked down on someone like me because I didn't understand what they had been through.  I didn't see it in myself, but I was filled with pride.  I might have looked down on people that took charity, people that borrowed money, and people that lost their temper.   That all changed.
     My stepdaughter, Melody, was staying with us off and on and I saw her loose her temper at times.  She had two children of her own, and she took on the responsibility of her young brother and sister.  She always seemed tense and angry during this time.  I didn't understand what she was going through.  I looked at her situation and I prayed for things to change.  God heard my prayer and answered in a way I would have never expected.  He showed me that a change in circumstances could turn a fairly patient woman into a woman on the edge. 
     Melody asked Mark and I to watch her son for ten days while she went out of town.  He was under a year old, and my boys, michael and Elijah were also babies.  The first few days went fine, but as the days went by, I got more and more tired from the added responsibility.  Then her baby, Gabriel, decided that he was tired of us and he wanted his own mom.  He cried most of the next seven days.  On top of all the maddness that was going on, one of the days, Mark had to spend the day at school, and I just happened to have one of the worst headaches I can remember.  Three helpless babies, and me, a tired nervous woman with a terrible headache.  By the time Mark came home I was a wreck!  I was in tears and yelling.  I didn't feel like myself.  I felt I was breaking down.
     It was then that I not only understood what Melody must have been going through, but I also gained respect for the guts and strength she showed in the year that she took care of her young brother and sister.  I felt bad that I had looked down on her and the worst part was I had no idea how prideful I had been.  God has a way of setting up a situation to open your eyes and then he wispers, "Look."
     My prayer for myself is that I can look at people in situations, different from my own, and not lift myself up by putting others down, but that I can feel for them.  Then when I pray, it can be out of love and empathy.  The saying that was impressed on me was, "There by the grace of God go I."
    

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Prayer Line

     When I was in my thirties, We were going to a church where we were able to get really involved in things.  I felt that I was supposed to pray, so my husband Mark and I went to our pastor and asked if he would sponsor a prayer line.  He liked the idea so we got a second phone line installed in our home and the Church put an add in a local Christian paper.  Phone calls came in day and night.  I would listen to the caller and then pray for them and with them. 
     One callers name was Beatriz, and she had a story and a prayer request that I'll never forget.  Beatriz told me that she just happened to come to work early that day.  She said she saw an old friend on the way, but she could hardly recognize the woman Beatriz went on to tell me that the woman had full blown aids.  Beatriz didn't acknowledge the woman, she kept walking, ignoring her friend.  But she told me that she had a strong feeling to go back and talk to her old friend.  Beatriz didn't want to go back, but if she didn't she would see her friends face all day.  So she said a little prayer, "God give me the words."
     The first thing that Beatriz asked the woman was, "Do you know about Jesus?  This woman could barley talk anymore, but she nodded, Yes.  Beatriz then prayed for her friend to receive Jesus.  When they were done praying, the woman's eyes were glowing, then the woman got down on her knees and thanked God for her salvation and for God's grace.
     Beatriz knew this was not a chance meeting, but a work of God.  She said that she knew it because she was never early to work.  so this special meeting was arranged by God.
     Another caller's name was Michael.  He called because he was homeless and suicidal.  I talked to him for nearly two hours and ended up finding him a place to live for six months.  The best part was that I was able to pray with him to receive Jesus into his heart.  Romans10:9 and 10 says, "Because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead then you will be saved."
     It is for us as Christians to go out and make disciples, we know that but we should also know that being obedient also means to stay open to Gods voice, to stay open to the lead from the Holy Spirit.  If I wouldn't have been listening, Michael wouldn't have been saved.  If Beatriz wasn't listening, she might have gone to work at her normal time, or she might have passed the woman on her way to work, but because of obedience, there are two more people that Jesus can call his own.  Stay open to God and be obedient.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Alignment

     My husband, Mark, and I had to get our van fixed, and God used that to teach us a lesson.  The lesson was; don't judge until you know for sure, and even if you think you know for sure, don't judge.
     We needed new tires on our van.  The tires that were on the van weren't very old, but they were bad.  They were wearing on the sides.  We took the van into tire store A.  We had planned on getting new tires and an alignment.  We told the machanic what we wanted done, and we left the van to be worked on.  We went across the street to get some lunch.  We got back about two hours later.  When we got back there, the mechanic told us that he didn't do the work, because he noticed that the tie rods were bad.  We only had enough money for the other work, there was no way we could pay for the tie rods too.  The mechanic also told us that if we just got the tires and the alignment, the tires would wear out quickly. 
     We purchased short term insurance when we bought the van.  We checked the paperwork when we got home, and found that the tie rods would be covered.  We took the van to the dealer the next morning and left it there all day.  We went to pick it up in the evening.  The mechanic at the dealership said that the tie rods were fine.  New tires and an alignment would cost more there, so we decided to get it done somewhere else.
     The first thought that came to our minds was tire store A tried to cheat us.  We had just seen a story about mechanics cheating people, on the news, so we knew, that was happening to us.
     On day three, we called around to find the best price.  We took the van to store B.  This time we stuck around to watch.  Store B said that we need new tie rods!  They even took the time to show us.  We couldn't believe this, now we really knew who was trying to cheat us, it wasn't store A, it was the dealer.  We went ahead and got the tires at store B.  We were determined to go back to the dealer and have them fix the tie rods.  We both felt awful about the terrible thoughts we had about store A.
     It is now day four.  We take the van back to the dealer, and leave it for the whole day.  This time Mark called the dealer before we went to pick the van up.  And again the dealers mechanic said that we didn't need new tie rods!  So our thought was, store A and store B tried to cheat us.  We talked about it for a while, we were both tired of the whole thing.  We decided to let the dealer to give the van an alignment.  Then Mark asked, "If the tires go bad right away, like they did before, will you replace them?"  There was a long silence, and then, "Yeah, okay."
     When we got to the dealership to pick up the van, the mechanic came out to talk to us.  He told us that he went ahead and replaced the tie rods.  He assured us that they weren't bad, but he said that they might go bad soon.
     Four days, a lot of stress and jumping to conclusions, but we finally had our van fixed, and our lesson learned.  The lesson; even when you are positive that you know something, you could be wrong.  I guess it wasn't just the van that needed an alignment.  I needed an attitude alignment.  I try to remind myself of these four days every time I start to jump to a conclusion, or make a judgement.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Authority

     My oldest daughter, Christina, has a giving heart.  She also loves kids, so she volunteered to help out in the nursery on Sunday mornings at Church.  She was young at the time, maybe fifteen, so she didn't have much experience with young kids.  I came to watch how she was doing, one sunday morning.  What I noticed was that she had been given the authority, by the Church, to take control of the kids, but she wasn't very good at exercising that authority.  She would say to the kids, "Everyone, please sit down and listen."  Or, "Please don't run, or climb on the tables."  But the kids did as they pleased, ignoring Christina.  I watched as she stood  in the middle of the commotion, trying her best to get them to listen.  She didn't stand her ground, and the kids could sense that.  She didn't fully understand the authority that she had been given, and the kids ran around her , taking advantage of the situation.
     A boy, Christina's same age was also given authority over the class.  I noticed that when this boy told the kids to do something, they listened and responded to him.  This boy exercised his authority, by standing his ground with those kids.  Even though these kids were too young to understand respect, they gave this boy their attention, and did the things that he asked them to do.
     Both the boy and Christina had equal authority, but these kids listened to the boy and not to Christina.  This situation got me thinking about, Jesus, and the authority that He gave us as belivers.  Like Christina, some of us are timid in using that authority, because we don't fully understand it.
     In Matthew 10: 1, Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out evil spirits and to heal every disease and sickness, in His name.  Also in Matthew 18: 18 and  19, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in Heaven.  Again I tell you, that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in Heaven.  For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
     It's been many years and Christina has graduated Collage, now.  Even though she lacked the confidence to control her kids in the nursery, she has taken the time to develop the skills that she needed to control and teach a class of kids.  The boy in the nursery, understood and used the authority he had been given, in the same way some belivers understand and use the authority Jesus has given us.  And like Christina in the nursery, some believers have to learn and mature so they too can use the authority given them by Jesus.
     After collage, Christina took a job at a day care facility.  There she worked with young kids also, the difference being she learned and understood the authority that she held, and she exercised that authority over the kids, and they did listen.
     Matthew 28: 18- 20, "Then Jesus came to them and said, 'all authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surly I am with you always to the very end of the age."

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Vice

     I went to bed Sunday night feeling fine.  I woke up Monday morning feeling like my head was in a vice.  The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh my head!"  My eyes hurt, it hurt to look around.  My neck hurt, my sholders hurt, but the worst was, my head felt like it was being squeezed.
     While I was brushing my teeth, I remembered a dream that I had last night.  In it, everything that Satan did was a copy of what God did.  Satan couldn't create, only imatate.  Sickness was a copy of health and by surrendering to it and saying , "I am sick" I could recieve it.  So while I was brushing my teeth I thought, what if I surrender to health, and let it take over my body?  Just thinking about that idea made my head feel a bit better.
     But about fifteen minutes later, I felt even worse.  Along with the head pain, I had a stomach ache and I started feeling shaky.  I went into the living room and asked my husband, Mark, to pray for me.  He said a short prayer, then went back to watching TV.    I had a little relief, but soon I felt bad again.  I slept for a while, then asked for more prayer.  Mark prayed again but I think he was more interested in the show he was watching.
     I took some pain killer and I went back to sleep.  I slept for about three hours, and when I woke up, I felt so bad, I could hardly make it into the living room.  I couldn't stand the pain, I cried out, "Mark, please pray for me!"  He could see that I really needed help so he turned off the TV.  He prayed a fervent prayer and I cried out, "God please help me!"  Then Mark did something new, he asked Jesus to show him what to do.  He pressed spots on my head and neck.  He prayed, "Blockages, move."  Then right in the middle of the prayer, he got up and called our pastor.  He asked pastor Brad to pray for me.  He bound demons, and ordered them to go, in the name of Jesus.
     I started to feel relief, but he kept on praying.  I was still crying and soon, more relief.  He kept on praying and by that time I felt almost normal again.  The headache, the body pain, was gone.  The pressure I had been feeling was gone.  I stopped crying.
     I got up and made myself something to eat and got some orange juice.  I cleaned the house and I played with my two little boys. 
     I'm not exactly sure what happened that day,  all I know is that I tried a few different things, then Mark asked for guidance, and he followed the Holy Spirits lead.  He was obedient and I was healed.  Thank God! 

Catalina

     When we are guilty of one sin we are guilty of them all.  James 2: 10 says,  "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking it all."  If you tell a lie but do everything else just right, and you judge someone else who is steeling and fornicating, you might as well be steeling and fornicating as well.
     But the good news is, because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are forgiven of all of our sins.  That means we can't clain to be righteous by the good works we do.  And I would think that the closer you become to being like Jesus, the harder it is to stay humble.  We all want to think of ourselves as doing well, but the truth is all have sinned and fall short.  So we are all equally guilty and we are all equally forgiven, if we ask, a humbling thought.
     There is a story about three guys, standing on the peir at Huntington Beach.  The first guy ran a bit and jumped straight out into the ocean.  He yelled up to the other two, "Hey I did pretty good!"  The second guy took a couple strps back, ran a few feet, and he to jumped straight out into the ocean, just farther then the first guy.  He yelled, "I did better!"  The third guy got quite a bit of a running start, then out and down into the ocean.  He boasted, "I did the best!"  One of the on lookers yelled down to the men in the water, "What are you doing?"  The men yelled back, "We are jumping to Catalina."
     When we do good, sometimes we want to boast.  But for us to be as good as Jesus, is as hard as trying to jump off huntington peir to Catalina, impossible on your own.  Only through the blood of Jesus, can we clain to be righteous.  So when we get the urge to boast, boast of Jesus and his unequaled goodness and power.
     1 Corinthians 1: 30 and 31, "It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God- that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: let him who boasts, boast in the Lord." 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Who's Boss

     "Have no other Gods before me."  God spoke those words to Moses on Mount Sinai, in Exodus 20: 3
     The Semites worshiped mountains, springs, trees and rocks.  Gideon's clan worshiped a wooden pole, called the Asherah Pole.  A number of animals were sacred to the Egyptians, the bull, cow, cat, baboon, and crocodile.  All through history, people worshiped idols.  If you think that you are in the clear because you don't own an Asherah Pole, you might be missing something.  What are your gods?  Food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or maybe shopping, music or TV.
     One of my idols was sleep.  I was noticing that at 7:00 every morning I was waking up with a strong feeling that I should get up and pray, a few times I did, but most mornings I would say a short prayer, like, "Sorry God, I promise I will pray later.  I'm really tired."  On those days I just could not find the time to pray, and God showed me that I was putting sleep before Him.  I knew that I was getting enough sleep, I just liked sleeping in.  I had the feeling that God was testing me, and that early morning testing went on for months.
     I love music.  I started collecting music from the time I was fourteen.  I also collected news paper clippings, magazines, books and t-shirts of my favorite groups.  A year or so after I became a Christian, I got this nagging feeling that I should throw out all of my albums.  It wasn't something that I wanted to do, but it was on my mind all the time.  I really struggled with this.  One day I found myself thinking, I can't throw away my albums, I've collected them for years and years, they hold memories, they are my life!  MY LIFE?  What was I thinking?  That was enough to open my eyes to what I was doing.  It took me four trips to the trash to get rid of those albums.  As soon as they were gone the nagging feeling was saying, "Tapes too!"  Tapes?!  It took a while but I did throw away the tapes.  When I look back on it, I can't believe how much importance I put on that music.  And I understand why it wasn't a good thing.  I had put my music before God.  I spent the next year collecting Christian music and listening to Christian radio.  But now I listen to anything that I feel like listening to.
     My husband Marks battle has been cigarettes.  I remember years ago, Mark actually getting up out of bed, getting dressed and going to the store late at night for cigarettes, when he realized that he didn't have enough for the night and for first thing in the morning.  Getting up was easier than fighting the craving for one night.  those cigarettes, controlled him, and that made them a bad thing.  He quit smoking.
     If you are in Church, Bible study, or maybe having a time of prayer, and all you can think about it getting it over with so that you can get to your addiction, food, cigarettes, work, shopping or what ever else controls you, ask God to show you if you are making an idol and putting it in front of your relationship with Him.  Also ask him for the strength to show that addiction who is boss!
     In the ling run, addictions cause us to suffer.  When we let our flesh control what we do, we end up staying away from the thing that is most important, God.  There are many things that give us satisfaction, but only true and lasting satisfaction comes from, God. 
     Colossians 3: 5, "Put to death, therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature; sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry."

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Charged Up

       It was a Saturday afternoon.  My husband Mark kissed me and the boys good-by and he was out the door.  He was on his way to Church to meet with his friend and band member, Mike, to practice for an upcoming concert.  Minutes after he went out the door, he was back inside.  He said that the station wagon wouldn't start.  The battery was dead, no lights, no radio, nothing.  At first I couldn't understand what could have happened.  I was the last to drive it a few days earlier.  As I thought back I had a faint memory of my two little boys playing with the over head reading lights.  I must not have paid enough attention, and left them on. 
     Mark pulled the van around and hooked up the jumper cables.  I tried turning over the engine in the station wagon, all I got was a clicking noise.  "Try again."  Mark said,...more clicking noise.  We let it charge a while, revving up the van a little.  I tried it again, this time a long with the clicking, the sound of the radio.  More waiting while it charged, then another try, it came close to starting.  Another try, and thank God, it started!
     I like to think that I am full of spiritual power all of the time.  But sometimes I feel like that drained battery, and what I need is a direct link to the power source, God.  Jesus being sort of like jumper cables, and the Holy Spirit, the power. 
     I remember my Dad telling me that you have to start a sitting car once in a while or the battery will go bad.  When we get away from our power source for a long period of time, our power can slowly drain.  And if we're not careful, Satan will find ways of draining that power even faster, like those lights that were left on drained the battery of the station wagon.
     So if you've been at a spiritual stand still, or Satan has found a way to speed up your draining process, give your self a chance.  Don't try the ignition and give up.  Hook up to the power source, charge up, be patient, and let God's power grow!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Kidney Infection

     In April of 1990, I got a kidney infection.  I had a fever of 104, and my back hurt so bad that my husband, Mark, took me to the emergency room.  After some tests, they prescribed antibiotics.  For two days, it was a struggle just getting out of bed, and I wasn't able to work for a full week.
     I was saved in April of 1992.  I felt full of faith and I totally believed that Jesus healed.  Shortly after that, I got another kidney infection.  As before, Mark wanted to take me to the emergency room.  I said, "No."  I asked him to pray for me.  We agreed that if I wasn't better in two hours, I would let him take me to the hospital.  I had a 104 degree fever and I could hardly walk.  I felt completely desperate for God to heal me, and I had no doubt that He would.
     Two hours later, Mark took my temperature.  It had gone down and my pain was subsiding.  The next morning the pain was completely gone, I was totally healed!  In fact, I never felt better.  I felt so good, Mark and I went to work, sign painting.  We worked more than eight hours that day, up and down ladders, painting windows and I felt great.
     That was a real miracle, but soon after, I did something dumb, I started to doubt.  I started to think that maybe it was the garlic and cranberry juice that I took, that was a big mistake.
     Wouldn't you know it, April of 1994, I got another kidney infection.  I was pregnant at the time.  Mark said a prayer for me, but I didn't feel as desperate as before, because I was depending on the garlic and cranberry juice instead of God.  Over the next week I got worse until I had a fever of 104, then I was desperate for God to heal me.  I asked God to forgive me and I knew that if I was going to get better it was going to be because of what Jesus did on the cross.  God did heal me, but it wasn't as dramatic as before.  I did realize at that moment that the cranberry and garlic did nothing that last time, It had been Jesus and all his glory.
     I had to see an OB, because I was pregnant and she asked if I had any health problems since I became pregnant.  I told her about the kidney infection.  The doctor asked how I got rid of it.  I said, "Cranberry juice, garlic and God."  She said that it must have been God because there is no way cranberry juice and garlic can get rid of a kidney infection.

1 peter 2:24, "He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness, and by his wounds you have been healed."

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Athlete

     There was an article in the news paper about a top athlete who seemed very healthy, but died of a heart attack at the age of twenty eight.  This article went on to say that research shows that a balance of exercise, diet and rest is needed to maintain a healthy body.  When we neglect one area, we could become weak, or like the athlete, die.
     Our spirit also needs a balance of things to stay healthy, and keeping a balance, takes discipline.  Paul compares our lives as Christians to runners in a race.  Do you think that you could eat a diet of french fries and soda, exercise once in a while, then run a marathon?  In 1 Corinthians 9:24, Paul tells us, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training."  A lot of us Christians are spiritually flabby, malnourished, and tired.
     If you eat unhealthy food and don't exercise, you could end up flabby.  Too much rest and not enough exercise and your muscles will become weak.  Even with a good amount of exercise and a healthy diet, but not enough rest, your body will suffer.
     The balance of good health exists in the physical and in the spiritual.  Our spirit needs good food, exercise and rest.  When we get lax in one or more of these areas, our spiritual health could end up in danger.
     Such a simple thing but unless we train daily, like an athlete, it's easy to get off balance, and not even realize it.
     Spiritually, I thought I was doing fine, until one day I noticed that I was depressed, edgy, snapping at the kids and spouse, yelling at the dog and complaining about every little thing.  Then like a bolt of lightening, it hit me, I said, "What is wrong with me?"  I told myself, "I read the Bible once in a while, " I go to church at least once a month, but it's so hard to find the time and I have so many important things to do."  It's just like saying, "Why do I feel so bad on this diet of potato chipa and chocolate bars?  I eat a carrot once in a while."

Eat right + sleep right + exercise = Good physical healty
Reading and hearing the word + Praise and worship +ministry =Good spiritual health

Remember to keep your balance and stay healthy. 
    

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Our Body

     Have you ever thrown a rock into a still lake?  When it hits the water, it makes waves that ripple across a large area,  I've noticed that same effect happening in my body and even in my Church.
     I've had bad headaches since in was eleven years old.  But in my thrities, my headaches became unbearable.  My sister, Carmen, worked in a pain center and she suggested that I try coming in.  I made an appointment and went in.  The first thing the doctor tried was cortisone shots once a week, in my neck and back.  Next I attended a pain management group. and lastly I visited, Fay, who taught biofeedback.
     During one of my appointments to Fay, I had a terrible headache.  She hooked me up to the biofeedback machine.  The machine showed that my stress level was very high.  Fay told me that the pain I was feeling in my head was the shadow of the real injury.  Next, she massaged small areas of my back and neck.  The pain started to melt away.  She told me that the areas that she was massaging were shadow areas.
     During that time at the pain center, the doctor found that I had a fused vertebra and that was causing my headaches, the pain in my neck back arms and face.  That pain in my neck rippled to other parts in my body.
     The Bible talks about the Church as being one body.  1 Corinthians 12:12 says, "The body is a unit through it is made up of many parts and through all its parts are many, they form one body."  Just as all of our parts form one body, all of the different parts of the Church form one body.  And as in the human body, there can be a shadow pain rippling through that body.  1 Corinthians 12:26, "if one part suffers, every part suffers with it ; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
     The next time you feel depressed and you can't understand why, pray for someone else.  The next time you are tired or angry, or maybe even have a loss of Faith, without any real reason, pray for those closest to you.  Pray for your Church body.  Romans 8: 26-27 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weekness.  We do not know what to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."  You might never know what injury you might have helped by using your own shadow pain as a place to start a healing prayer in your body, and in the Church body.  And just as the rock can cause a ripple in a calm lake, our intercessory prayer can cause a ripple of Faith, happiness and health in our Church .

Friday, September 16, 2011

Time To Take Out The Trash

     We all have some forms of sin, or as my husband puts it, "Bags of trash to take out."  Many of those bags of trash were taken out when I first became a Christian.  They were the light ones, small and easy to take out.  I have to admit, I still have bags of trash laying around my life.
     The bags that are left are heavier and harder to manage.  And unfortunately, I find myself closing my eyes to them at times.  I tell myself, "If God wants the garbage out of my life, He's going to have to take it out Himself."  And I say, "Hey God, look at all the bags that have already been taken out.  Weren't they enough?"
     Those heavy bags are the reoccurring or habitual sin in our lives.  I look at these sins as learned habits because as it says in Romans 6: 6 and 7, "For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin."  When we sin now a lot of the time it's out of habit, not addiction.
     Example: My husband, Mark, smoked for a large part of his life.  He acquired a physical addiction to cigarettes.  Whe he decided to quit smoking it took a lot of self control for him to break free of the addiction.  After one month of resisting the urge to smoke, the physical addiction was gone, but the habit that his flesh had learned was still there.  For about a year after he quit, he would reach for those cigarettes that were no longer in his pocket.
     Jesus has done the biggest part for us by dying on the cross and breaking the physical addiction to sin.  What is left behind is the habit of sin.  It is easier to get rid of some habits than others.  Or as I put it before, "Some bags of trash are lighter than others."  They all have to be taken out because, like trash, if we close our eyes to it, the bigger the bag and the longer it sits there, the more it stinks and pretty soon everybody will be complaining about it.
     Taking out some bags of trash are like trying to unlearn to ride a bike, it's almost impossible once you have learned how.  It's a good thing that God makes the impossible, possible.
     I like to picture us as the child, putting our whole heart into picking up a heavy bag of trash and trying to drag it to the curb.  Now I picture God, our loving father, watching us make the effort.  With prayer, work, and faith, I can picture God's strong hand, reaching down, and lifting the bag from our life and replacing it with the miracle of change.  God has already done the hardest part, through Jesus, now it's our turn.  Let's pray and ask God what needs to be taken out.  Let's listen and make a heart felt decision to get rid of this trash.  And let's thank God that He is there to help us.

The Men From Galilee

On the day they were all together
suddenly from Heaven came a wind
it filled the house that they were in

And they saw tongues of fire
come to rest on everyone
the mystery had begun

God was praised in every language
from men who lived in Galilee
drunk with wine they couldn't be

And they were filled with the Holy Spirit
And they began to speak as they were led
And the crowd was in amazement
Because of what the Holy Spirit said

Those who believed his message
through the water and the blood
three thousand added on that day
I can almost hear them pray

And they were filled with the Holy Spirit
And they began to speak as they were led
And the crowd was in amazement
Because of what the Holy Spirit said

Thursday, September 15, 2011

He Walked Away

     Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  Sin is wicked and in 1 Corinthians 6:9 it says, "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God."
     In Matthew 19:16, a rich young man came to Jesus and asked how to receive eternal life.  Jesus told him to follow the ten commandments.  The rich young man said that he did that, and asked what else he had to do to receive eternal life.  Jesus said, "If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come follow me."  The man walked away, sad, because he had great wealth.
     Jesus didn't send the rich young man away or say that he couldn't come with Him, The man walked away.
     God told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, in Genessis 22.  Abraham bound isaac and put him on an alter.  He was ready and willing to do what God told him to do.  He completely trusted God.  He knew that what ever happened, it would be the best thing.  An Angel of God stopped Abraham at the last second and God provided a ram for the sacrifice, instead. 
     Have you ever shut your eyes and let yourself fall back into someone's arms?  It is a hard thing to do.  You really have to trust the person that will be catching you.  God wanted Abraham to do just that, and he did.  Jesus wanted the rich young man to do just that, but he walked away.  He wasn't sent away, he made up his own mind, he made his choice and that was for his money.
     Romans 2:9 says, "God will give each person according to what he has done.  To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life.  But for those who are self-seeking and reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger."  Abraham had faith in God and because of his faith he did not walk away when God told him what to do, and so he did not sin.  The rich young man could have followed Jesus but instead, chose his money, and in doing so sinned. 
     Sin is addictive and given a choice, some will pick sin.  Money isn't  wicked, but the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.  The choice you have to make is, you can obey the Lord, trust Him, believe in Him put Him first in all things and receive eternal life, or you can choose your sin, and walk away.
     Jesus told the rich young man to get rid of his sin; love for money, then to follow Him.  So just laying down our sin isn't enough, we also have to follow Jesus, or take him as our Lord.  Romans 10:9, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, then you will be saved."  Sounds complicated but it's simple, listen to God, lay down your sin, take Jesus as Lord and be saved.

Through The Years

This is a time line of the last 23 years, to help put the stories posted into perspective.

     I met my husband, Mark, in February of 1989.  I had been married for ten years, before that, and had three kids, Christina, Joe and Elizabeth.  Mark had two kids, Melody and Nick.  Nick was just a baby when I met Mark, Elizabeth was five, Joe was seven and Christina was Nine.  Mark and I got very close, very fast.  We met in February and moved into our first apartment in June.  We had a turbulent first year, then I gave my life to Jesus and Mark re-committed. 
     1990-1994, Mark and I had a sign business.  We had quite a bit of work but we struggled financially.  We had our kids every weekend, and every other week in the summer.  We all attended a Church in Downey.  Mark and I were very involved in that Church.  Mark played on the worship team, I had a prayer line and we were both on the board.
     1994, I gave birth to Elijah.  During that year, Mark suffered with bad headaches and leg swelling.  He was tired all of the time.  Our sign business started doing very well, we just had a hard time getting the work done, between the baby and Mark being sick.
     In November of 1994, I found out that I was pregnant, again, and within a week, Mark found out he had hepatitis c.  He also had very high cholosterol, and his blood pressure was very high.  He began taking a large amount of medications for his health problems.
     1995, Michael was born.  We had to quit the sign business because Mark was just too sick to do it anymore.  We both got on SSI.
     All my life I suffered with depression and anxiety and in 1999, I started taking medication for it.  I tried many different kinds and finally got on something that helped, somewhat.
     2000, we moved from Anaheim to Buena Park, where we now live.  Eliabeth moved in with us.  Except for kindergarten, the boys grew up and went to school here.  Nick also moved in for a couple of years.
     2006, Mark had open heart surgery, and while in the hospital, his kidneys failed.  He was in the hospital for a whole month.  When he got out, he had to have dialysis three times a week.  After about a year on hemo dialysis, he went on to peritoneal dialysis, and I did this at home for him.
     2008, My dad died.  It was a hard time for me.  Mark was in and out of the hospital a lot.  Mark got a bad infection in his peritoneal, after having surgery to remove his gallbladder.  We took classes and I learned how to do hemo dialysis for Mark, and I did that for six months.  It was very difficult and I couldn't continue, so he went back into the center for his dialysis,  He still goes to dialysis three times a week.
     We have had a rocky time of it, we have also been very blessed. as you will see if you read my stories. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Giant

     Doing everything right all the time just isn't possible.  Being a Christian doesn't mean being perfect, and I know that for a fact.
     Rent was over due and we didn't have any of the money.  We had bills that we weren't able to pay.  My older three kids and my husband Mark's son were all coming over for the next six days.  We didn't have much food for them.  We had our own business, sign painting, but there was no work in sight.  Mark was feeling tired all the time.  He was also having bad headaches and swelling in his legs.  He needed to see a doctor, but we had no insurance.
     Our son Elijah was just a baby, and he had just gotten over a cold.  My mom and dad babysat when we had work, and my mom picked up the cold from Elijah.  She asked me to keep Elijah at home the next time he gets sick, because it was much harder for her to get over a cold because of her age.
     Mark's daughter, Melody, was grown and she had two kids of her own.  They just moved into a new place and didn't have any heat.  Her kids were sick and she asked if she could stay with us for the weekend.  I was afraid Elijah would get sick again and we wouldn't be able to leave him with my parents, if we did get work.  Our problems had become giant.
     I was feeling overwhelmed.  I picked up my Bible and read about Moses and the promised land, in Deuteronomy.  I could see right away that I was behaving like the Israelites behaved after spying out the land that God had promised them.  God gave the land to his people but He never said that getting into it was going to be easy.  Nephilim, mighty men, or giants were living in the land.  With the exception of Joshua and Caleb, the Israelites complained and cried out.  They said that they would rather go back to Egypt then to follow God into that promised land.  God led them through the desert, with a pillar of clouds during the day and a pillar of fire during the night.  They saw the Red Sea opened and God dried it so they could walk across it.  The Israelites saw so many miracles, but when they came up against a giant problem, they forgot the past wonders and they focused on that problem before them.  Except for Joshua and Caleb, they didn't make it into the land of milk and honey.
     I am no better.  God has given me so many promises, I've also seen so many wonderful things that God has already done for me and what do I focus on, the giant problems before me.  If I want that promised land, then I'm going to have to change my focus.  I am going to have to trust God and that doesn't mean giving up.  I have to stand boldly, walk boldly and enter and face those giants, boldly!

Screen Printers

     Just before my third child, Elizabeth was born, my sister, Carol, and I decided to start our own business, screen printing T-shirts.  We both had some artistic talent, so screen printing seemed like a way to use that talent.  We started by making a very unprofessional looking flyer.  It was 1983, and neither one of us had a computer so you can imagine how bad this flyer was.  We mailed out about a dozen flyers to local businesses and suprisingly, one of the businesses called and placed an order.  We were so excited, we could hardly wait to get started.  At the art supply store, we bought a screen printing kit and an instruction booklet.  When I think back on it, I'm surprised how confident we were considering we were two house wives with absoultly no idea as to what we were about to do.  We took the kit to my house and began by studying the instruction booklet.  After reading the whole booklet we thought that we had a good understanding of how to make the screen, the biggest part of it.  We estimated it would take a couple of hours from start to finish.  We were excited and ready to go.  We followed each step as the instruction booklet had said, and everything seemed to be going just right.  There were many steps; coating a screen, putting it under a light for a certain amount of time, washing the screen and letting it dry.  We finished the screen and we were ready to print our first shirt.  We carefully lined the screen up with the shirt, added the ink and slowly dragged the squeegee across the screen.  As we lifted the screen to see our first printed shirt, we were both disappointed and discouraged to see that it hadn't worked.  Not a drop of ink, on the shirt.  Feeling frustrated, we made screen after screen, changing the process a little each time.  Finally, after eight hours, we had a screen that we could use. 
     We filled that order and mailed out additional flyers, orders came in and we had to make more screens.  We weren't sure what we had done right to get that first screen to work.  Knowing how hard it had been left us feeling a bit anxious, but after many mistakes, we learned exactly what we needed to know to make a perfect screen every time.  We found that we didn't get a perfect screen by doing just one thing right, it was a number of things combined.  Each step had to be done just right for the process to work.  It was very complicated, and just reading the directions wasn't enough to get it right the first time, or the second or the third, or fourth.
     At the end of a year we had mastered the complicated process of screen printing.  Not just by reading the directions, but more so by hands on experience.  We could have had those directions memorized word for word, and it wouldn't have been enough for us to make a screen.  Trying the process over and over turned out to be the best teacher.
     A month or so after we had gotten into business, I remember meeting a lady who was also in the screen printing profession.  I told her about our problems making the first screens and she said that she had been making screens for so long, she could probably make one in her sleep.  I remember thinking, "Wow, I wonder if I'll ever be like her?"  Then at the end of the second year, I felt as though I too could make a screen in my sleep!
     Repetition, trial and error, is what taught us what we needed to do each step of the way.  Hands on, was the way that sometning very complicated turned into someting easily done.
     I have read the New Testament, a few times.  I have read about half of the Old Testament, and heard Pastors talk about the Bible most of my life.  The Bible is God's direction booklet for our life.  Reading, studying and memorizing is important.  The next step is trying to follow those instructions for a Christian life.  We may have a hard time at first, just like Carol and I did when we tried putting the knowledge from reading into practice.  But unlike Carol and I, we have a teacher, a counselor, the Holy Spirit, and with the Spirit's help, I believe we can succeed.  John 14:26, "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit whom the father will send in my name, will teach you all things, and remind you of everything I have said to you."
     So read, study and learn the Bible, but also be hands on and you will triumph. 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Fruits

     Many of us have good works, Christians and non-Christians.  But do we have good fruit?  Colossians 1:10 reads, "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work."In other words, when I help someone, "Works," what is my perspective, or "Fruit?"  Galatians 5:22 tells us, "The fruit of the Spirit is, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control."  The scriptures above show us that works and fruit are two different things.  Works are the good things that I do and fruits are the evidence of the Spirit working in me.
     John the Baptist and Jesus tell us what will happen if we don't have good fruit.  Jesus also tells us how to tell a false prophet.  in Matthew 3:10 John the Baptist said, "The ax is already at the root of the trees and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."  In another passage Jesus warns us to, "Watch out for false prophets.  They come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.  By their fruits you will recognize them.  Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles?  Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Thus by their fruit you will recognize them."
     It's important to know that I shouldn't just be doing good deeds, but also I should have the right perspective, or fruit.  Being patient, kind and loving, having peace and joy, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control show that Jesus is working in me.
     In John 15:1-5 Jesus tells us, "I am the true vine and my father is the gardener.  He cuts off any branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself, it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."  This scripture points out that works, or good deeds, done outside the vine, or outside Jesus are, fruitless.
     Have you ever seen a branch produce a piece of fruit, laying on the ground, apart from the tree, and the roots?  The branch alone doesn't produce the fruit, the fruit is produced through the fruit, the fruit is produced through the branch, just as Jesus produces fruit through us.  As this example of the branch and the tree indicates, the only way I can produce fruit is by staying in Jesus and keeping Him and me.
     Taking the time to examine ones self is important.  If I give to someone, "Works," do I do it in love, "Fruit?"  If a friend also asks me for a favor done with kindness, and patience, "Fruit?"  Am I gentle and self-controled in a tense situation, or do I easily lose my temper?  Am I filled with joy and peace, or am I filled with uneasiness?
     If I want a life filled with all of the good fruits that the scriptures tell me about, then I should spend time reading and studying my Bible, and take the time to memorize scripture.  Talking to friends about what I've read, and letting the words become my thoughts, help to renew my mind.  I like to worship God by singing songs, and as I pray, I keep in mind that Jesus is with me, listening.  Stay in Him and He will stay in you.

Pain

No one's listening,
            to the cries
No one's answering,
            all the whys
A baby, growing up
            in hate
Sex and violence,
            Satans bait
A father looks
            the other way
"Hey, he'll be okay
            someday"
Turn on TV,
            close the door
Turn off minds,
            can't deal with more
A mother thinks,
            the job is done
Out the door,
            to have some fun
She screams at her son's
            violent ways
He walks away,
            in a silent daze
looked at with
            the eyes of shame
Point the finger,
            shake the blame
Cuts like a knife,
            with words and looks
Carries a gun,
            along with books
A father asks,
            what he did wrong
Once again its,
            the same old song
"Then never mind,
            I've got to go"
"I've got no time,
            don't even want to know"
His child screams inside with
            pain
He should have known,
            always the same
No one's listening,
            to the cries
No ones answering,
            all the whys
except
            Jesus

Elijah and the Toothbrush

     My husband Mark and I wanted our little boy, Elijah to start brushing his teeth.  He didn't like the idea.  He didn't want to do it himself and he wouldn't let me do it for him, so his teeth were going unbrushed.  Elijah's peditrition said that he was getting some build up and that he needed to start brushing.  Mark and I decided to hold him and brush them for him, Big mistake.  After that there was no possible way he was going to brush his teeth by himself.  We forced him and he ended up hating something that was supposed to be good for him.  After a week of hearing Elijah screem every time I showed him his toothbrush, we gave up for a while. 
     Then, we tried sometning new.  Elijah loves juice, first thing every morning he wants his juice.  This particular morning we said, "Sorry baby, no juice until you take the toothbrush, and at least touch it to your teeth."  Elijah took the toothbrush, and he threw the toothbrush.  I gave it to him again and he threw it again.  I gave it back to him and he took it, and hid it in the living room.  He was so stuborn, he went most of the day drinking only water.  He would ask for juice and I would say, "Yes, you can have juice as soon as you touch the toothbrush to your teeth."  And finally, he broke down and cried for juice.
     Then it happened, having that juice meant more to Elijah than having his own way.  He found his toothbrush, and he brought it to me and he said, "Brush teeth?" Then he did it, he touched the toothbrush to his teeth.  I clapped and hugged him!  Then I gave Elijah that juice that I had ready and waiting for him.  And all he had to do was get what he wanted in line with what I wanted for him. 
     The next morning he faught brushing his teeth again, but he did end up brushing his teeth and getting his juice.  Every day it got a little easier, until one morning I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and he came in and asked if he could brush his teeth also.
     This taught me something about prayer.  I used to think that I needed to talk God into things, convince him with my prayers.  I realized, I was wrong.  1 samuel is the story about Hanna.  She wanted a child.  The longer she prayed and didn't get one.  The more desperate she got for a child.  She finally got down and cried before God, "God, if you just give me a son, I will give him to you!"  That was it, that was what God wanted all along.  He was ready and waiting to give her that baby, He just wanted Hanna to do one thing, promise that baby to Him.  She didn't persuade God to do anything, He gently persuaded her to give him something that they both wanted.  When her heart was ready , He gave her what He had planned for her from the beginning of time.
     I love Elijah, I want the best for him, but forcing him to do what would be good for him only made him hate it.  Bringing him to a place where he would change his feelings about something he didn't want so that he could have something he did want, worked.  After that experience, Elijah brushed his teeth on his own.
     God sets it up so that we get to a place that we desire what he already wants for us.  Then we cry out to God, "Please give us what we desire!"  And when our desires and our hearts are in line with his will and his desire for us , He says, "Yes!"  
     Psalm 145:19, "He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him, He also hears their cry and saves them."