Toys

     I have five wonderful kids.  When my older three were small, I went through a time of learning how to be an effective parent, with them.  During this time, I would ask them to clean up their room.  I would make my self busy in another room, giving them plenty of time to clean up, but when I got back their room would still be a mess.  I'm talking MESS, every stuffed animal off its shelf, every toy out of the box and on the floor.  I tried threats like, "If you don't clean up that mess, no dessert!"  I would come back and the room would still be a mess.  Then I would have to go through with my threat to show them that I mean business.
     After taking away their dessert, they knew that I meant what I said, but they were just sad and angry, and still their room was a mess.  I tried all kinds of things.  I couldn't believe some of the things I would catch myself saying, "While you are living under this roof."  And,  "Someday when you have kids."  They could tell that I was angry with them so they would put a few things away, but only enough effort to get mom off their backs for a while.
     I got so tired of the same struggle every day so I took drastic measures.  I told them, "If you don't clean up this mess, I'm going to take away all your toys so you can't make a mess any more."  Well guess what happened, they didn't clean up the mess.  I felt that I had to do what I said I would do so, I put all their toys in trash bags and stored them in the garage for a week.  It was hard on them and it was hard on me, but I just knew that the next time I would ask them to clean their room, they would remember this and clean it up.  They didn't, they just remembered that the week was awful.
     one day I was sitting in the middle of their room, every toy around me on the floor, thinking, "I really hate this."  When I thought of something new and I tried it.
     I asked my daughter, Christina, "will you put this ONE toy in the toy box?"  She said. "Okay."  As soon as she did it I praised her saying, "Oh thank you.  That was so nice!"  She liked that, it made her feel good, I could see it on her face.  So on her own, she picked up another and put it away, then looked at me for the same aprovel.  I gave it to her.
     My son Joe, saw how happy I was with Christina, so he put a toy away, then my youngest, Elizabeth joined in too.  Pretty soon, they were racing each other to put away as many toys as they could, and I was praising them all!  I didn't have to get angry and they didn't have to feel bad.  It was so much easier when I began to focus on what was good instead of only the bad.
     I think this learning experience could be used to help any relationship.  We could do more good, strenghtening and encouraging each other.  Try love and praise with your kids, try love and praise with your husband or wife.  Try it in Church, or at work.  Make a list of every good thing you can think of about the people in your lives and let your focus be on those things.
     Philippians 4:8, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excelent or praise worthy-think  about such things.