Doing everything right all the time just isn't possible. Being a Christian doesn't mean being perfect, and I know that for a fact.
Rent was over due and we didn't have any of the money. We had bills that we weren't able to pay. My older three kids and my husband Mark's son were all coming over for the next six days. We didn't have much food for them. We had our own business, sign painting, but there was no work in sight. Mark was feeling tired all the time. He was also having bad headaches and swelling in his legs. He needed to see a doctor, but we had no insurance.
Our son Elijah was just a baby, and he had just gotten over a cold. My mom and dad babysat when we had work, and my mom picked up the cold from Elijah. She asked me to keep Elijah at home the next time he gets sick, because it was much harder for her to get over a cold because of her age.
Mark's daughter, Melody, was grown and she had two kids of her own. They just moved into a new place and didn't have any heat. Her kids were sick and she asked if she could stay with us for the weekend. I was afraid Elijah would get sick again and we wouldn't be able to leave him with my parents, if we did get work. Our problems had become giant.
I was feeling overwhelmed. I picked up my Bible and read about Moses and the promised land, in Deuteronomy. I could see right away that I was behaving like the Israelites behaved after spying out the land that God had promised them. God gave the land to his people but He never said that getting into it was going to be easy. Nephilim, mighty men, or giants were living in the land. With the exception of Joshua and Caleb, the Israelites complained and cried out. They said that they would rather go back to Egypt then to follow God into that promised land. God led them through the desert, with a pillar of clouds during the day and a pillar of fire during the night. They saw the Red Sea opened and God dried it so they could walk across it. The Israelites saw so many miracles, but when they came up against a giant problem, they forgot the past wonders and they focused on that problem before them. Except for Joshua and Caleb, they didn't make it into the land of milk and honey.
I am no better. God has given me so many promises, I've also seen so many wonderful things that God has already done for me and what do I focus on, the giant problems before me. If I want that promised land, then I'm going to have to change my focus. I am going to have to trust God and that doesn't mean giving up. I have to stand boldly, walk boldly and enter and face those giants, boldly!
I believe that if we are not trusting God with our minor problems then he is going to make us trust Him by giving us so much that there is nothing left to do but give it to God! Before we were going to move our problems were, "money will be a little tight after buying school supplies," and "I really need to clean my apartment!" I thought I was stressed! Ha! God was telling me to trust Him and things will be fine, but I didn't listen! Then, to my surprise Curtis found tons of mold in our new place, Curtis got three tickets in two days, we were told we couldn't stay in our present apartment, we were not going to get our money back from the other landlord, and so on and so on! Finally it was too much for me, I asked everyone to pray, I wiped my swolled red eyes, and I gave it to the Lord. (It was hard to loosen my grip on my problems, but I did it!) Then, I found out I can get my licese back, the people who were going to move into our apartment backed out, and the owner of the moldy place brought us a check for the deposit and rent we paid and even paid Curtis for painting his apartment! God definately taught me a lesson! I'm not gonna sweat the small stuff, its not only not worth it but also, God has got my back! I know I will still worry and stress, but at least for now I realize that I can't take it on myself, only the Lord can! HE can do it!
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