Righteous

     I've tried so many times, by my own strength and power, to be a good person.  I always end up messing up in one way or another.  And when I do mess up I feel guilty, so I try harder and I mess up again, and I feel even worse.  I've been to the point where I feel like, I just can't do this Christian stuff anymore, I'm not good enough.  About the time I'm ready to quit, God reminds me that it's not me, but the Holy Spirit, in me, that makes me good.  The thing that I have to do is surrender and let Jesus do His work in me.
     If I try to earn my righteousness and salvation, by trying to be a good person, I'm putting myself under the law.  James 2:10 says, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."
     I don't have to be perfect to be righteous, I just have to believe in Jesus.  Romans 3:22 says, "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe."  And the guilt that I felt was to get me to give up.  Hebrews 10:22 says, "Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assureane of faith having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscious."
     I used to watch a lot of horror movies.  When I became a Christian , I thought that I probably shouldn't watch those movies anymore.  Galatoans 5:16-18says, "The sinful nature desires what is contrary to the spirit and the spirit desires what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with each other so that you do not do what you want."  That scripture described how I was feeling.  A new horror movie would come out and I would say, "Oh, that sounds terrible."  A week later my husband, Mark, and I would be sitting in the theater watching it.  I would try not to but the harder I would try, in my own power, the worse I would want to see it.  Then after I saw the movie, I would feel guilty for enjoying it.
     I finally prayed, "God, I don't want to watch these movies, but I enjoy them, please help me!"
     The next movie that we went to see was a big mistake.  I have never felt so uncomfortable.  I cringed through the whole movie.  I couldn't wait to get out of the therater.  After that, the hold that those movies had on me, left.
     I couldn't make the change on my own.  Trying, just ended up making me feel guilty.  Thank God that I didn't have to do it on my own.  I did have to have a deep desire to change, I had to pray, I had to give it to God and trust Him to take care of it, and I had to let the Holy Spirit do it's work in me.