The Response

First Example:  You are walking down a sidewalk, someone you don't know walks toward you, you look down, or to the side, they do the same.

Second Example:  You are walking down a sidewalk, someone you don't know is walking toward you, you catch their eye, you smile, say, "Hi, how's it going?"  they smile say, "Fine."  You both feel good, approval.

     Wouldn't it be great if the second example always happened?  But sometimes it doesn't happen that way.  You may say, "Hi"  and the other person doesn't respond.  It hurts just a little bit.  You ask yourself, "Did they see me?"  or Maybe I don't look nice today, maybe they think I'm a bad person, or I'm not worth a response."  You might even feel a little angry.  Maybe next time you won't say anything at all.  It's not worth taking that chance.
     That's where dying to self comes in.  We don't need to find that approval.  If it's not about us, then it's about the other person.  If a good response makes us feel good, it will make the other person feel good, too, and if we aren't worried about getting hurt or angry then we can more easily reach out and make someone else's day a little better.